Jonathan Long (@long) header
Jonathan Long (@long) profile picture

Professional-ish Stuntman. Delusional Dreamer. I yap about D2C E-Commerce, Brand Building, the Red Sox #DirtyWater & the soul crushing Dolphins #PhinsUp

Miami, FL
Joined May 2009
Photo by Jonathan Long (@long)Photo by Jonathan Long (@long)Photo by Jonathan Long (@long)Photo by Jonathan Long (@long)Photo by Jonathan Long (@long)Photo by Jonathan Long (@long)Photo by Jonathan Long (@long)Photo by Jonathan Long (@long)Photo by Jonathan Long (@long)
I miss these. Every year, around this time, I would get a handmade birthday card from my dad. I saved them all. This one was from 2005. They were always so ridiculous & twisted. Dude was a legend. They always had a past memory and a reminder...
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Big game. Undefeated streak needs to keep rolling. ND stadium is shaking. I wish UM could get home crowds like this. Such a waste of a great team. teapaw.org/i/ncaafb/game/20833461…
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Jonathan Long retweeted
JUST IN: Florida Governor Ron DeSantis plans another presidential run in 2028
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Must be a lot of angry SaaS founders who paid shitty SEO companies to "build" them directory links. Love seeing all that "70 - 85 DR" spam bullshit crashing and burning and now 11 - 14 DR. Trash, trash, baby.
Today, we (Ahrefs) are releasing a preview of DR4: a new Domain Rating model for scoring backlink profiles. Your own DR may change, so we're sharing two ways you can check before it rolls out on December 1st. The two main changes: 1. Subdomains now have their own rating, so our help desk (DR 75) is scored differently than our root domain (DR 92) 2. The pool of domains impacting DR has essentially halved, to ~132M. In our testing, DR4's correlation with Google rankings across all hosts is more than 2.5x stronger than our current model. We've been analyzing the data for weeks and have already had some great outside feedback, but I'm sure there will be more. That's why I'm opening up a direct feedback form for a short period of time. I'll go through all of the comments myself and pass on what I see with the rest of the team. We're pretty excited about finally sharing this with more people. 🙏 Link in the first reply
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LOL. Brutal. These scamming retards are cooked.
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My GPT-6 Astra went from window licker to brain surgeon overnight. Did OpenAI de-nerf it before releasing the new model?
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No matter what is going on in the world, nobody can take away Publix Chicken Tender sub sales. ‘Merica 🇺🇸
🚨GOOD NEWS in Florida: Publix Chicken Tender subs are on sale next week. $8.99. Sale starts tomorrow (11/5-11).
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This app is full of aviation experts weighing in on the Learjet crash, when their experience with planes peaks at flying Spirit Airlines' Big Front Seat. Amazing.
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Jonathan Long retweeted
AI is going to change the software game. It's going to create an entirely new category. Software that people pay a monthly subscription for because vibe coders don't want to maintain, host, debug, provide customer support for, etc. Incredible things. (also, just putting this *sarcasm* disclaimer because I know there will be some mouth-breather that cannot ready and says something retarded)
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AI is going to change the software game. It's going to create an entirely new category. Software that people pay a monthly subscription for because vibe coders don't want to maintain, host, debug, provide customer support for, etc. Incredible things. (also, just putting this *sarcasm* disclaimer because I know there will be some mouth-breather that cannot ready and says something retarded)
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Jonathan Long retweeted
Sonny Gray will receive a $10M buyout as he is now a free agent. Gray had a 2.72 ERA in 29 starts for the Red Sox this past season.
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Brewers ripping lung darts (WS Champs). '04 Sox ripping shots of Jack pre-game (WS Champs). What is the lesson, kids?
The Brewers regarded smoking cigarettes before games as a good luck charm and their motto was ‘if we smoke heaters in the cage, we will smoke heaters in the game’ Christian Yelich on this: “You walk by the cage and see the cigs lit and you’re like, the boys are ready to rock.” (Via @JeffPassan)
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Love this. @redbaronpizza you got a good one. Also, that "influencer" needs his teeth kicked in. Fuck these assholes. 99.9% of these "influencers" and "streamers" should have been swallowed or a back shot.
Internet users have raised over $120,000 for the Red Baron worker who went viral after an influencer started harassing him. The man has been identified as ‘Walt Z’ from Michigan and he is thankful for the support. “Walt Z out of Michigan sends a heartfelt thankyou, and is absolutely blown away by how much people have cared over this,” the GoFundMe organizer said. “They are requesting privacy, and GoFundMe is taking the lead in transferring all of this to him. You're all Rockstars, and it shows.” Glad to see this man is being taken care of. GoFundMe link is below.
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OpenAI reversing the usage nerf + the matched monthly API credits makes keeping the $200 Pro Plan a no-brainer. Hey @thsottiaux - please don't ship anything tomorrow so we can have a nice reset going into the weekend.
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Just blasting a 2000s punk mix while calling my AI agents retards. What a time to be alive.
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The Milwaukee Brewers proved that you don’t need a billion dollar payroll and a bunch of stat dork analytic nerds to win, Old school gamers that just play the game hard. #ThisIsMyCrew #WinOurWay #WorldSeries #Postseason
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Jonathan Long retweeted
Baseball was baseball in 2026. Hoping baseball can be baseball in 2027. If not, then baseball will be back to baseball in 2028. 🤞
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Why is this shit app just pushing fear mongering posts from retards in the feed?
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The Tampa Bay Rays fanbase should be ashamed. Sounds like a Milwaukee Brewers home game. Pathetic. Send the team to Montreal. #WorldSeries #ForTampaBay #RaysUp #ThisIsMyCrew #WinOurWay #Postseason
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