Nick Swardson

Saw someone with "my warm up is your work out" shirt. Well, my casual drinking is your alcohol poisoning so fuck you.

Headed to Minnesota for the holiday but mostly for the Bills Vikings MNF. This will take a year off my life. KOC needs to step his game up. He’d call a tush push on a 4th and 20. #MarkRosen @KFAN1003

🙏 Jack Campbell ♥️

Is anyone going to do a documentary about the amount of alcohol consumed this week in Wisconsin? A first time World Series into a Packer win into Halloween?! What would the title of that documentary be? Is everyone’s costume going to be beer cheese vomit?

Happy bday to all the Minnesotans that are 60 today!! 6-0 SKOL. See you in the Twin Cities in Nov! Acme Comedy Co. Nov 18-19 Twin Cities Con Nov 20-22 TwinCitiesCon.com

St. Louis, MO THIS FRI-SUN *any food recs? Has anyone farted in the Arch elevator and lived to tell about it? at GalaxyCon.com

I watched that documentary that everyone is talking about and it’s wild. You don’t know who is inherently evil and who is telling the truth. I highly recommend it. It’s out now and if you haven’t heard about it it’s called Street Fighter.

We made a horror short! Very proud of it. The great director Jake Lewis and my old friend the great @PaulyShore and the LEGEND @actordougjones m.youtube.com/watch?v=3ETZmh…

I just turned 50 and the Vikings are 5-0. Thank you, Kyler. Happy birthday to Vikings fans every where. I hope I don’t turn 89 in January.

Sorry we play the Falcons the 29th. See?! That’s how panicked I am. What fucking year is it?! Atlanta trade Robinson now.

Vikings play the Falcons Nov 9th. We’ll need to pick up at least 3 more kickers.

Why are these teams scoring touch downs? You’re supposed to kick all your points. #Vikings 🙄

I’m still not drinking and it’s great. But I do find myself in situations that I loved as a drinker. I’m on a flight delay in Boston so thats a double whammy cause it’s such a great booze town. What scenarios for non drinkers do you miss?

WORCESTER, MASS All weekend Fri - Sun. - Grandma’s Boy 20th anniversary pics and autographs with JP and Alex. Silverscreamcon.com

If this season is going to be a roller coaster game like this every week I’ll need a full sponsorship from Dude Wipes. Do they make blankets? SKOL VIKES!!

Terry Funco 😂 Next Con is Salt Lake City Sept 24-26 @fanxsaltlake

ORLANDO - This Sat and Sun! (Not Friday. I’m filming The Odyssey 2) FAN BOY EXPO fanboyexpo.com/orlando/

Silo is the best show on TV right now. Rebecca Ferguson is incredible. I thought it was about Shilo the waiter from Grandmas Boy. He was played wonderfully by that sweet old lady @DavidSpade

If you were a cat would you be an indoor cat or outdoor cat? I’d be outdoor but @DavidSpade would for sure be indoor and sleep in his own dirty litter box.

Minnesota is having deep fried Taco Bell lettuce at the State Fair. It’s at the @PowerTripKFAN booth. Meat Sauce serves it in a leather swing.

It’s weird how many times I talk about athletes from my childhood. I reference Bo Jackson way too much. What athlete do you talk about to the point where someone should slap you?