#Dominic does what he wants so feel free to come and go as you wish; if we don't follow the rules then we don't expect you to either 👍 Go where you want, enjoy your day trips and spread that virus! @10DowningStreet @GOVUK @BorisJohnson @NHSEngland @NHS

Well, the orange cunt has landed. Let's pucker up and put on a fixed smile as he spews his bigoted hatred. @realDonaldTrump @number10gov @10downingstreet #trump #fascist #orangenarcissist

I've finally taken a long, hard look in the mirror and realised I'm a useless piece of shit who's caused untold damage to #greatbritain So long, suckers! Mwah! TayTay x #brexit #strongandstable @10downingstreet @govuk @number10gov

Gove aurally rimming BoJo on @BBCr4today just then was excruciating. We're sorry about that and feel dirty, which for us is really saying something.

I'm delaying the vote. Yes I'm a total cunt! Love, Theresa x

Strong and Stable!

I'm having a meltdown.

No government needs to use waterboarding to extract secrets. They could just force people to listen to #radio4 #inourtime

Crap. That wasn't supposed to happen.

Look how well we're doing with the #NHS Vote for us in June and we'll continue the good work! #conservatives

Today I will mainly be brown-nosing the orange derrière #trump #specialRelationship

Haha proles, you've just fucked yourself up good and proper while we sit pretty on our millions #brexit #poorGetPoorer #shouldHaveThought

More war! Yeah baby, come on! #war #bomb #Syria

God what a tedious day of foreign dignitary ass-kissing.

If any of you working-class oiks are stupid enough to vote for us on Thurs, expect another five years of being butt-fucked. Enjoy, proles!

That Nicky Sturgeon is fucking terrifying!

Oh Goody! Here comes another Middle East War :D :)

We are watching you, proles!