Come to a show, talk to me afterwards if you want. Tell me about how you saw that crazy video. It's honestly my favorite thing in the world. I'll see you out there.
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My venus fly trap caught three flies. It's just so nice to see someone do what they said they were going to do.
Get tickets:
punchup.live/show/411aec77-d…
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Nerds rejoice. I'm hosting a game show based around Venn diagrams @caveatnyc 9/14
Some people say the key to a successful marriage is communication, but it's actually keeping your mouth shut when they send you anything from the Internet that you already saw two weeks ago.
The party bus lobby must be so strong. You're not allowed to ride in a car without a seatbelt, unless you're drinking and dancing on a pole. What an incredible loophole.
I watch more than a modicum of garbage trash TV, which surprises some people because I use words like modicum.
Ariel Elias retweeted
Kristi Noem: No one will top my bizarre animal killing stories.
RFK Jr.: Hold my bear.





