mia pinchoff

#WhenIWas12IThought very little 🙌

i think i got baby poopie in my mother freakin EYE?!! WHAT DO I DO!????? – at Los Angeles, CA

i guess i’m on threads now. i be threadin! slide into my threads BABYYYY. i’ll probably post hilarious stuff there one day when i’m awake. so you should definitely follow me just in case. i miss twitter. and my YOUTH. k, time to pump 🍼🐮 threads.net/@miapinchoff – at Los Angeles, CA

“omg don’t worry you’ll lose the baby weight in no time. breastfeeding burns like an extra 300 calories per day!!!” dude. that’s like uh bite of pizza… i just ate a pie – at Los Angeles, CA

in 6 months i went from sanitizing the shit out of everything my baby puts in his mouth to accidentally passing him a cat toy to suck on 🫠 – at Los Angeles, CA

please stop setting off your janky ass fireworks - it’s July 1st you losers!!! chill out with your backyard kabooms we know your pee pee is tinyyyy also, my BABY IS ASLEEP. – at Los Angeles, CA

every time i think i’m having a moderately okay moment i realize i forgot to turn on the baby monitor 🫣 – at Los Angeles, CA

husband is not a fan of my postpartum shower art 😒

the best age to travel with kids: literally never – at Los Angeles, CA

when my baby drinks from my tittie while simultaneously pooping himself it’s like his body becomes a weird straw that turns milk into shit 🤗

my list of worries keeping my 5 month old alive britney spears paying bills in that order. – at Los Angeles, CA

lost the super bowl and a sock 😑

NO SCREEN TIME!!! unless it’s Rihanna, duh 🙄

i’m happy my husband’s happy cuz he’s an @Eagles fan… but this is my super bowl babyyyyy 🤘🎈 – at Los Angeles, CA

is spoiled milk the new baby smell everyone raves about…??? i gotta get me some fine wine to go with this pungent little fromage 🤱🏻 – at Los Angeles, CA

check it out, nerds!!! not just sayin that cuz my hubby is a co-host 😉 – at Los Angeles, CA

go @Eagles!!! also, more importantly, this is my baby’s first time wearing pants 🥹🦅

never thought i’d have to get used to the smell of milk, lanolin, and defeat – at Los Angeles, CA

sour patch men

babies are so small but why do their farts sound like a middle aged truck driver with a rewards card for Carl’s Jr? – at Los Angeles, CA

me now that the baby is out but i still got a floopy poochy 🤰🏻