at my first office job, there was a man named peter who never took his lunch break. not once in the entire year i worked there. while everyone else went downstairs to eat, he'd remain at his desk, staring at his computer with the seriousness of a man running a nuclear power plant. our manager loved him. "that's dedication," she'd say. i thought it was strange, so one afternoon i asked him why he never left. he looked around to make sure nobody was listening. "i'm protecting my food." i laughed because i thought he was joking. he wasn't. apparently, someone had been stealing his lunch from the office fridge. he'd complained twice, but nobody admitted anything. so peter developed a plan. every morning, he'd bring two lunches. one normal sandwich for himself. one sandwich filled with the hottest chilli sauce he could find, labelled with his name. he'd leave the trap in the fridge and stay at his desk to see who came looking for it. for three weeks, nothing happened.