90s Teacher

I am the Pablo Escobar of fountain pen cartridges.

Obviously, @thebeebs, everything looks better with comic sans and rainbow gradients. There's a clip art thingy too with over 15 pictures!

I dream that one day every classroom in the country will have its own VHS and TV stand.

School residential trip soon. Will need a new pair of non-branded walking boots and some light blue jeans that stop before my ankles.

Had to try to teach a lesson before without acetate and the OHP. Practically impossible.

James in 4b put clackers on his bike spokes at the weekend and now he's swaggering around the school like the Fonz.

Being the only member of staff under 40 means I'm solely responsible for fixing the tracking on the VHS player whenever anyone uses it.

Perfected the "cat's cradle" to show the kids my yo-yo skills just as they've become uncool. 5 weeks wasted.

Has anyone seen my Fat Willy's mug?

Bloody hell. Pigeon crapped on my favourite Kangol fleece at breaktime.

Great. Rumour going around that the school is haunted. Kids crying. No more Goosebumps books at reading time.

Who is this? I thought I'd recorded a documentary about Cleopatra for my ancient Egypt project.

Thanks to Eric Cantona I now spend a large portion of my day telling kids to put their collars down. Also to stop jump kicking each other.

About time I taped a new BBC Schools History programme. This one keeps talking about the threat of the Soviet Union.

'@bbceducation: Labour would launch 'teacher MOTs' If they're anything like the MOTs on my '85 Nissan Sunny I'm knackered.

No, we can't make a 50ft beach scene on the playground using clothes from lost and found. Paint your egg. Thanks a lot Neil.

Neil Buchanan is giving the kids unrealistic expectations about what my art lessons are going to be like.

Just got a new "Great Work!" rubber stamp with Sonic the Hedgehog giving a thumbs up. Just give me the coolest teacher award now.

My stock cupboard has become a post-Christmas Furby Gulag. Scared to go in for a pen. I'm sure one of them whispered my name at break today.

No, Bel Air is not a sovereign state that is governed by a Prince, fresh or otherwise. Where do they get this from?