gina

The best orgasm of my life was during my rape I think this is something important to say because I’m tired of thinking I’m broken and I know many other women have experienced something similar. During rape, it isn’t exactly typical for a women to orgasm during, but it’s not uncommon. It’s reported as having happened by many women, and likely so many more orgasmed but never said anything about it. I am one of these women. I was raped when I was 20 years old. I was fingered where I orgasmed very quickly, and then was penetrated with his penis. After about 5 minutes of it, I had what I think is the most powerful/best orgasm of my life. He knew I came both times and it was humiliating. He told me he knew I liked it and that my cries for him to stop were just me being dramatic. The second time more so as I was literally shaking and unable to speak from the intensity of the orgasm. This of course sent him over the moon. This 20 year old woman just came on his penis after trying to tell him she didn’t want sex. He must’ve felt like a sex god. Shortly after he finished he gave me his number and disappeared. I have never spoken to him again. I didn’t go to the police as I was convinced I enjoyed this and it wasn’t a violation. About 4 months ago, I confided in my therapist this secret. She told me that this isn’t uncommon. When the body is threatened with death, we go into survival mode. We as women have anti rape defense mechanisms. One of those being our orgasm. When a rape victim orgasms her body is lessening the/mental anguish, making the vagina more lubricated so that the act of sex is less painful, and grips the assailants penis to bring him to orgasm faster. My body did this to help save me, my body knew what would get me out of there alive and did it. I spent years thinking this wasn’t a rape or that my vagina was broken to enjoy that, but it worked as designed. I want to share this story so other women know, you are not broken. You did not enjoy it or ask for it. Your body did what it needed to do to survive.