Aaron

Fuck Carter hart you are a rapist and you suck at your job and you lost, you suck

I just feel compelled to share today for anyone who feels alone that I have been dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety this year. It’s crazy how when it gets Actually Bad you don’t even fully realize until you wake up and it hits you that you haven’t even been to a hockey game all year and have stopped doing most of the things you love. Weirdly it was one of my strongest career years as far as metrics, opportunities, finances go, but I didn’t care about literally anything or see the point in anything. I wanted to encourage anyone reading this to try to take the first step to get back to what you love. It’s not pointless, and I know you’re at least partially avoiding it because you’re scared it might feel pointless. I could’ve done my story today from my couch, but I’m glad I got up and showed up to the actual game. I know I’m beyond privileged to have the opportunity to even be there, but again, when it gets Actually Bad you can’t really see stuff like this in a rational way. Also, I resisted and resented for so long the notion that I could possibly be struggling again, as if I suddenly failed the mental health test of life and was regressing in some way. Life doesn’t work like that. It’s not linear. Shit happens, shit is going to happen your entire life. It doesn’t mean you failed anything, and it’s ok to struggle. I just really didn’t feel like it was “ok” to struggle in my 30s for some reason? And I wanted to share that after some really hard months, I am coming out of it, partially because I forced myself to show up today. A little humility and acceptance can go a long way