Them: Bro, the gym is so crowded! I had to wait 15 mins for a squat rack. These new people are so annoying! Good thing they'll be gone by February! Haha! Still so annoying though, right? Me: Honestly, the most annoying part is having this conversation with you every January.

If you didn't see the results you wanted in 2025, it's NOT because you didn't have: ❌ The newest information. ❌ The best advanced methods. ❌ The trendiest diet and workout. It's because you didn't do the Basic Boring Shit correctly or consistently enough for it to work.

WHY DO YOU WORK OUT? 1965: To be healthy. 1985: To look good. 2005: To get laid. 2025: To hopefully get enough complete strangers on the internet to tap on photos of my body so I can temporarily feel like my life has some shred of meaning.

Person: I do intermittent fasting, but I get really hungry during the fasting period. What's the best way to deal with this hunger? Me: By not fasting.

3 REASONS TO EAT BROWN RICE 1. You like it. 2. You ran out of white rice. 3. That's pretty much it.

"A caloric deficit didn't work for me" isn't a statement that proves weight loss isn't about calories. It's a statement that proves you weren't actually in a caloric deficit.

IT'S JUNE, 2025. This is a reminder that now is the time to start working out and eating right if you want to have an awesome beach body in time for the summer. Of 2026.

The Ultimate Protein Cookie Recipe Step 1: Consume a sufficient amount of protein over the course of the day from high quality sources you enjoy. Step 2: Eat an actual fucking cookie. Step 3: Stop trying to add protein to snack foods.

Them: Bro, the gym is so crowded! I had to wait 15 mins for a squat rack. These new people are so annoying! Good thing they'll be gone by February! Haha! Still so annoying though, right? Me: Honestly, the most annoying part is having this conversation with you every January.

HOW TO DIET ON THANKSGIVING Step 1: Don’t diet on Thanksgiving. Step 2: Relax. Enjoy the day. Spend time with family. Eat tasty food. Step 3: Get back to normal the next day. Step 4: Repeat on Christmas.

Them: I can't lose weight! Me: How's your diet? Them: I do cardio 5 days a week. Me: And your diet? Them: I weight train 4 days a week. Me: But what about your diet? Them: I do HIIT 3 days. Me: D... I... E... T Them: Kettlebells too. Me: I think I know what your problem might be.

IT'S JUNE, 2024. This is a reminder that now is the time to start working out and eating right if you want to have an awesome beach body in time for the summer. Of 2025.

"I just don't have any time to work out." - person who wakes up and spends 45 minutes looking at their phone before getting out of bed.

The Ultimate High Protein Recipe Step 1: Pick literally any good source of protein you enjoy. Step 2: Take a serving that provides at least 30g of protein. Step 3: Pick any carb and/or fat source you enjoy in a quantity that’s in line with your daily calorie target. Step 4: Eat.

Person A: My body is "pear shaped." Person B: My body is "apple shaped." Me: Who cares? Create a caloric deficit, eat a sufficient amount of protein, lift progressively heavier things, and stop comparing yourself to fruit.

INSTAGRAM FITNESS GURU FORMULA FOR SUCCESS Day 1: Photo of my abs. Day 2: Photo of my ass. Day 3: Photo of my abs. Day 4: Photo of my ass. Day 5: Something about how you need to stop comparing yourself to others. Day 6: Photo of my abs. Day 7: Photo of my ass.

If you're considering the possibility that you're in a caloric deficit but NOT losing fat, please take a minute to realize that NOT losing fat is the ultimate guaranteed proof that you're NOT in a caloric deficit.

Them: Bro, the gym is so crowded! I had to wait 15 mins for a squat rack. These new people are so annoying! Good thing they'll be gone by February! Haha! Still so annoying though, right? Me: Honestly, the most annoying part is having this conversation with you every January.

HOW TO DIET ON THANKSGIVING Step 1: Don’t diet on Thanksgiving. Step 2: Relax. Enjoy the day. Spend time with family. Eat tasty food. Step 3: Get back to normal the next day. Step 4: Repeat on Christmas.