Adam McCabe

"Hi, can you help me? I'm looking for the worst game possible."

I mean, do what you want, but it was a weird choice to have Theon Greyjoy playing a Nintendo Switch on last night’s GoT.

My mom just told me, “I still get shit from the girls for taking them to see CAPTAIN CORELLI’S MANDOLIN (2001).”

This looks...problematic?

Thought this week couldn’t get worse and then someone stole my bath mat.

Sometimes I worry about what I’m going to do with all the free time I have from calling the Matthews of the world “Matt”.

“Curse”? Sounds like she’s doing me a dang favor.

Sure, I could focus on picking a rug color if I wasn’t so worried about that dog running in fear for its life.

Guy next to me in stop ‘n go traffic did coke off the car’s dash & shrugged like “can ya blame me?” & honestly I fuckin’ CAN’T.

Is there a MRS. Car Wash??? 😏

Today I learned there are breakfast spots that don’t open until 10:00am. What a world.

My dentist hummed “Du Hast” by Rammstein while he cleaned my teeth.

Just wanted information about the clock I was buying and stumbled onto someone's Philosophy senior thesis:

Jesus Christ, Siri.

NETFLIX aggressively pushin’ season eight of a show on me that I didn’t know had a season one from a network I didn’t know existed staring someone I thought was fake/not real.

My favorite overused movie trope is “worried about a health inspector”.

As a child: “I don’t care if it’s 66 degrees, I’ll swim!” As an adult: “One drop of rain has found purchase on my exposed hair. I’ve contracted pneumonia & will soon be dead. Goodbye.”

Four floating wheels just rolled by me.

Smug Old Man: “I’ve seen things in my life that’d make your HEAD SPIN.” Me: “Oh, yeah? You ever seen a smoke detector with an on/off switch, you feeble moron?”