One is free from depression when self-esteem is based on the authenticity of one's own feelings, and not on the possession of certain qualities.

Our access to the true self is possible only when we no longer have to be afraid of the intense emotional world of early childhood. Once we have experienced and become familiar with this world it is no longer strange and threatening.

The true opposite of depression is not gaiety or absence of pain, but vitality - the freedom to experience spontaneous feelings.

But that would have led to the loss of his mother’s love, and that, for a child, can mean the same as death. So he “killed” his anger, and with it a part of himself, in order to preserve the love of his mother. 2/2

If Bob had been able as a child to express his disappointment with his mother—to experience his rage and anger—he could have stayed fully alive. 1/2

True adulthood would mean no longer denying the truth. It would mean feeling the repressed suffering, consciously acknowledging the story remembered by the body at an emotional level, and integrating that story instead of repressing it.

The greatest cruelty that can be inflicted on children is to refuse to let them express their anger and suffering, except at the risk of losing their parents’ love and affection.

The aim of therapy is not to correct the past, but to enable the patient to confront his own history, and to grieve over it.

In this way we at last gain access to our earlier experiences - to the parts of ourselves and our fate that were previously hidden from us. 2/2

We discover that we are no longer compelled to follow the former pattern of disappointment, suppression of pain, and depression, since we now have another possibility of dealing with disappointment: namely, experiencing the pain. 1/2

Not to take one's own suffering seriously, to make light of it or even to laugh at it, is considered good manners in our culture.

Often a child’s very gifts (his great intensity of feeling, depth of experience, curiosity, intelligence, quickness - and his ability to be critical) will confront his parents with conflicts that they have long sought to keep at bay by means of rules and regulations.

What is difficult for most trauma survivors is that feeling and body memories do not feel like memories. The shame feels real right now. The fear or terror make us feel unsafe right now. There is nothing that says, “Don’t worry - you are just remembering.” - Janina Fisher

Feeling is the antithesis of pain . . . the more pain one feels, the less pain one suffers. - Arthur Janov

Contempt is the weapon of the weak and a defense against one's own despised and unwanted feelings.

The commandment to refrain from placing blame on our parents, deeply imprinted in us by our upbringing, skillfully performs the function of hiding essential truths from us.

Depression leads him close to his wounds, but only the mourning for what he has missed, missed at the crucial time, can lead to real healing.