Amudim

Turning the Wheel: What siyata d’Shmaya that after a week of talking about boundaries under our own roofs, Parshas Chayei Sarah brings us right into Sarah Imeinu’s tent. So much of the love that goes into raising children shows up in moments only our families see. In Sarah Imeinu’s zechus, may we all be blessed with shalom in our homes, laughter around our tables, and so much nachas from one another. Help fund Amudim’s life-changing work: donateamudim.org/psel @zgluck

If you’ve ever heard “He won’t let me play!” and “I was playing by myself first!” land on you at the exact same time, you already have a place to start. This week’s Under One Roof worksheets help us talk with our kids about boundaries in those everyday family moments. Download all three FREE worksheets and see where the conversation goes: amudim.org/boundaries/#print…

These everyday moments give children something to carry into their friendships, their classrooms, and the lives they’ll build: the experience of being understood and practice offering that to someone else.

We can put safeguards in place even when everything feels fine. They help give our children room to play, connect, and grow with boundaries that protect their privacy and personal space. Today, our SEL team talks about being attentive to what happens under our roof and helping our children know that whatever happens, there’s room to tell us. 💛

This week we are diving into boundaries in our homes. Our children grow up sharing everything: a room, a bathroom, the back seat, the last cookie. It’s where they learn to love people up close. It’s also where they practice boundaries on each other all day long. And they take their cues from us: what we do the second someone in our house says stop. Week 3: *Under One Roof.* Part of _My Space. My Feelings. My Voice._, a parenting series by Amudim.

As parents, we all stumble from time to time over what to say in the moment. After all, we’re human. A few thoughtful words, followed by the space to hear our children out, can make a world of difference. And the words we offer them can become the ones they reach for when someone they care about is hurting and needs to be heard. 💜

Shavua Tov! ✨ Did you know our parenting series also has an email edition? Once a week, straight to your inbox, with practical ideas and free printables like “Flip the Script” and “Ask Me First” to try together at home. Sign up at amudim.org/boundaries/, or scroll to the bottom of the page for this month’s free printables!

We learn empathy from Hashem Himself. In Parshas Vayeira, Hashem hears Yishmael ba’asher hu sham—right where he is. Our children need us to meet them there, too. To pause, listen, and make room for what they’re feeling. How we respond today helps them decide whether to come to us tomorrow. @zgluck

It takes practice.  Sometimes disappointment, big feelings, and a few deep breaths together. Having us beside them makes a difference. What we practice with them today becomes what they carry into their relationships tomorrow. We’re raising children who know their voice matters, and so does someone else’s. That is no small feat. 👏🏻 Wishing you and your family a Shabbos filled with joy and connection. 💛

We’ve spent this week talking about empathy. How to teach it to our kids, how to hold it together with boundaries, how hard it actually is to do well. It takes a lot of empathy to do this work. To pick up the phone and sit with someone on the worst day of their life and see a brother, a sister, a neighbor, not a case. So today we would like to show our gratitude. To the Amudim staff and case managers, the ones who carry that empathy into every day. To every person who has followed this series and brought it home to their own family. And to every donor who makes it possible for us to keep showing up.

“Empathy minus boundaries is not empathy.” That quote comes from Brené Brown, and it’s where the 10th-grade Darcheinu unit on boundaries begins. Mrs. Shira Berkowitz, LCSW, opens the class by writing it on the board because the two can’t be separated. We want to feel what our kids are feeling. But if we’re so enmeshed that their hurt becomes ours, we can’t help them anymore. We’re not separate. Boundaries aren’t division. They’re respect. Here’s what’s okay for me, and here’s what’s not. And as Rabbi Yisroel Grossberg, M.S.Ed., puts it, when a child feels heard and understood and is still told no, it makes a much deeper impression.

It can be hard to stay with someone else’s feelings when so much is coming up in us. When our child comes home saying they had a terrible day, we can take a breath and set down what’s weighing on us before deciding what happens next.

This week on Turning the Wheel, Rabbi Zvi Gluck explores how Hashem’s call to Avram to leave his land and his father’s home invites us to consider who we are beneath other people’s expectations, and how we help our children discover that for themselves. When our children look up at us and ask, “Do I have to?” there’s an opportunity to help them find their voice, with us beside them. Within the warmth of a loving family, we can help them express a preference kindly, hear someone else’s no, and know that being loved leaves room for both. Good Shabbos 💜 @zgluck

What if, from their very first steps, our children knew they could choose how they give and receive affection, even with the people they love? Introducing My Space. My Feelings. My Voice., our new parenting series on helping our children feel comfortable having boundaries, and helping us grow alongside them.

Part of healing is allowing ourselves to believe that life still holds great things for us. We begin to imagine new possibilities, laugh a little more freely, and feel hopeful about what’s to come. What a beautiful thought: to one day find ourselves in a moment we wish we could hold onto, knowing how far we’ve come to be there. If you find yourself in the thick of it, there is hope in healing, and we are here to help you take the next steps.

If your heart feels full today, we hope you find a place to put some of what you’re carrying. A page in your journal. A conversation with someone you trust. Somewhere you can be honest about how you feel and have a little more room to breathe.💜

We want our daughters to feel good about themselves. But what happens on the days they don’t like what they see in the mirror? The way we talk about bodies, including our own, can help them build a sense of worth that holds steady through a changing appearance or someone else’s comment. We sat down with Rebecca Klein, MSW, for “More Than a Number: Body Image, Shidduchim, and the Girls Caught in Between.” A conversation for girls in shidduchim and the parents who love them, exploring how we can help our girls feel comfortable being seen and knowing how much they have to offer. Here’s a first look. Sign up to get notified when the full conversation drops: amudim.org/more-than-a-numbe…

Tomorrow night’s visitor is Yitzchak Avinu. 💜 There’s a whole story behind the boundaries we keep, and behind the things we’re still hoping someone will make right. Yitzchak’s story brings us to a question we may recognize in ourselves: Am I waiting for someone else to make it right before I let myself move forward? It’s a question to sit with gently, wherever we find ourselves this Yom Tov. Gut Yom Tov from all of us at Amudim.

The schach lets us look up. Reb Moshe Leib of Sasov’s story asks us to listen, too. When someone needs us, can we hear them through everything else we’re doing? Chag Sameach and good Shabbos from Amudim. @zgluck

Tonight’s visitor is Avraham Avinu. 💜 We may have told someone a hundred times that they’re always welcome. Reaching out again before Yom Tov can still mean so much. For those of us who spend each Yom Tov figuring out where we’ll be, being thought of feels good. So does knowing someone is hoping we’ll say yes. Gut Yom Tov from all of us at Amudim.