ATLien. jokist 🎤CONAN, Late Late Show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Not to name drop, but I have Crohn’s. Album/Special, Basket Case, out now. link below
Atlanta, GA
Joined February 2009
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Posting this link for all who have asked if my album is on Tidal, iTunes, yada yada…yes. This link will show you all the platforms badpassword.lnk.to/AndySandf…
We look to comedians to find the line, and then cross over that line. That is, as long as we aren't talking about the line I believe you just don't cross, buddy. I mean come on, man! That's a line you just DON'T CROSS, BUDDY!
In some ways comedians ARE the modern day philosophers bc that is something people will teach for $, but not do for $.
Another good one is putting on workout clothes and not doin a damn thing. That is called dumbass muscle confusion. If you're convincing enough, you never have to workout. Your muscles are too emotionally invested to accept your unwillingness to change.
I am 40, but am owed at least 3 more years of my 30's. What paperwork do I need to fill out for me to be legally 37? I'm tellin ya, I'm not supposed to be 40. I'm not supposed to be alive, but I am on less borrowed time than this goddammit.
I signed the stop Cop City petition thinking it was the pitch for a Bravo style reality show. Now that I am more informed, I will sign it again under my govt name.
Hey Fandy Fandfords, I shit you not, there is a straight up GOAT'd silly skwad of harhar harbingers. A guffawfully hilarious lineup is set to lay siege to the stage at 529 in EAV tonight. Doors at 7, show at 8. Soul raptured to perc-atory at 10. iykykmf cum out ya goddam idiots!
ok wtf I am tweeting/X'ing this from my laptop because the X app is gone from my phone. That is fuckin crazy, Musky ass dungeon bdsm lookin app
Appetizers really fall apart if you try to explain it to a reasonable foreigner.
“Uhh it’s like a basket of fried cheese, or loaded tater skins just to kickstart the appetite I think. I know 6 potatoes +all that shit seems filling but eating out is a dare here.”
There’s a silly lil reel on ig where bricklayers setup a domino rally thing with a buncha bricks, & every mouth breather can’t help commenting “yeah good job makin more work for yourself!” So I said “u guys sure know how to ruin a fun lil video.” That’s all it takes. Triggered.
Just heard Rx ad for something to combat “Treatment Resistant Depression.” Are they still accepting alternate names? If so, I humbly put forth, “hopelessly aware”
I gotta say, this transition from Twitter to X has turned this place into a true journal no one will ever read or react to. I think every dozen tweets 1 bot will ❤️ a tweet by accident & remind me how stupid this is.
I was bored and randomly wandered into the Reddit r/Standup subreddit. Some Replies. Even posted a thing. Then I kept getting bombarded with notifications “username posted in r/Standup: what outfits do you find best for comedy?” & it reminded me why I don’t like recovery groups.
Checker’s has great fries, but don’t make the same mistake I did and go to Fact Checker’s, they only confirmed that Checker’s fries are indeed delicious.
I can’t recall ever going to TGI Friday’s, but I’d like to think the hostess greets you with, “good evening, welcome to Thank GAWD it’s Friday’s, just y’all 3? Thank GAWD.”