Tweets periodic reminders to not read the comments section for, well, pretty much anything, ever. An @OptimistPanda production.

The Whole Friggin’ Internet
Joined November 2012
Don’t ever, ever, EVER read the comments.
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That’s all folks! 2 years, 737 tweets, and 40k followers later, @AvoidComments says goodbye. Thanks for the support. One last reminder…
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Happiness will never be found in the comments section. None but rage and disquieted souls lurk there, between thought and flame.
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After you finish reading that article, remember to NOT scroll down and read the comments.
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Comments sections are probably the worst thing about the internet.
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"The problem with internet comments is that you can never really know who's saying them." -- Winston Churchill
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If someone has something worthwhile to say, they can write their own article. Comments are too immediate, and rarely contain good thoughts.
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"Klaatu barada nikto." Since no official translation was ever given, let's just assume it means, "Hey earthlings, don't read the comments."
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If someone told you the internet had hemorrhoids, would you want to look at those, too? Don't read the comments.
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Read the comments once, shame on you. Read the comments twice... seriously. So much shame.
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You wouldn't listen to someone named Bonerman26 in real life. Don't read the comments.
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The next time you're thinking of reading the comments, do a Google image search for "fluffy puppies" instead.
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Even if comments are good, you can find something better elsewhere.
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It's such a beautiful day... why would you spoil it by reading comments?
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Some day, long from now, our children will ask why comments sections were a thing. "We didn't know any better!"
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I'd rather stub my toe and then get a papercut on that toe than read another internet comment.
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Be the change you want to see in the world. Don't read internet comments.
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Here's your daily reminder to simply not read the comments.
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Nobody on their deathbed ever said, "I wish I had spent more time reading internet comments."
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