The one thing about moving in with my wife and not being a full time caretaker for my father anymore that fucks me up, I've got nobody to watch my chud-ass TV shows with
big bad butch WIFE, baro dyke of Tipperary retweeted
i am going to the post office TOMORROW so buy now to get extra speedy shipping
koshandyog.myshopify.com/
"I don't listen to country or hip hop" guys make so much more sense when you realise some millenials have no conception of what a slant rhyme is
I’m at a fast food place where Mambo #5 was just playing and it’s the first time I realized not a single couplet in the chorus actually rhymes.
Sometimes you will make a ragebait post 8 whiskeys in and then you'll wake up in the morning like no, I stand by this, fuck it
big bad butch WIFE, baro dyke of Tipperary retweeted
[immediately arrested at airport by FSB]
FSB OFFICER: You are photojournalist, Miss... Lucy Vesper?
ME: [moans]
big bad butch WIFE, baro dyke of Tipperary retweeted
[MI6 offices]
MY BOSS: no
ARIADNE BLACK: [me] why not
MY BOSS: cover names are supposed to be inconspicuous
SAMANTHA SHARP: [also me] are these not
MY BOSS: you’re just picking names you think sound sexy and intriguing
ALEXA STRAP-ON: [still me] no I’m not
All I want in life is the opportunity to lecture someone about how killing a guy was bad tradecraft as they visibly bristle like one time, that's all I ask it's not unreasonable
Trans girls don't wanna hear "you're so valid" we wanna hear "yes ma'am" as we stand you down while we clean up the mess you've made














