Emma's House

ALT How bout this... How bout if you try living outside 24/7, with no option to shower--ever! If you're lucky, you'll find a way to brush your teeth. If you're extra lucky, you'll own a toothbrush. I'll give it a couple of years... Then I'll come along and blame you for being homeless <angry emoji> so you grok how it FEELS. Even if it's true, unlikely as that is... It straight doesn't matter! Respect, Compassion, Understanding. That's a real person in front of you, Skippy. Treat em like a real person, ffs!

ALT Reality Check Poverty grows shitty families. Poverty grows criminal history. There are fewer available choices, down here Where Your Sidewalk Ends. Poverty grows so much addiction, we're supporting Crime Lords in multiple countries! #soproud That extra Social Judgement, tho... YOU make damn sure WE can't escape. Check YOUR blind privilege. Don't like the facts? Pick a different species next time.

ALT Image of a cat, somehow hanging mid-body through window blinds, with an expression of utter exhaustion and resignation on its face. Caption: I've felt this expression. Deeply. I lost count years ago. For fuck's sake, life! Aren't you done killing me, yet? Circumstances-beyond-my-control really need to figure their shit out, and get the damn Job done. Yeah... That'd be great...

ALT Dissipated Lifestyle Woes Aw hell. The Lungs went and Unionized. To be fair, I was warned. <biohazard emoji> We got ourselves a genuine protest goin on! It's lit af. #didjaseewhatIdidthere #byemeow #shenanigans #onlyinthealt #justforfunsies

ALT Dissipated Lifestyle Woes Emmas run on caffeine, nicotine, and merry green! Gods bless legal marijuana. Amen. If not for the munchies, I'd never eat at all! <laughing emoji> "Be safe!" Em-U #assEndofReality

ALT Dissipated Lifestyle Woes That repetitive stress injury in your thumb, from flickin' the Bic a billion times a day. #oops "Be safe!" Em-U #assEndofReality

ALT Keepin On With the Keepin On... ...with a little help from my Angels! original poem: "Barbecue" This hill will be the Death of me. Shoulda checked that topographical map. Duh, Emma. We’ve talked about this. Didn’t Colorado teach you that? This hill will be the Death of me. When was the last time I ate? It's really not all that important, But get some calories girl, ffs! Not another protein bar. I cannot face one more. We are walking, ever walking; Ever knocking at Death’s door. <skip a bit> Good Samaritans in name alone Abound in this wearying 'hood. Identities and religions, oft expressed, Seem not all that well understood. But Mr. Suburbanite knew what He was about. He knew that not much is required. Not one personal fact did I garner from our chat. He did His good deed, and He quickly retired. He will probably never realize, He may never actually know; This bag lady, whom He fed in Henderson, Shall eternally bless His soul! ~EC Desala aka #emmaisms "Be safe!" ~EmU #assEndofReality

ALT Keepin On With the Keepin On... With a little help from my Angels! These right here, my friends: These are the Primary Angels. 'Human' doesn't GET any higher than THIS! The Firehouse, with the Emma; and really, truly, some SHIT! Lemme tell ya somethin: If Vegas weren’t already famous for other reasons, it would be famous for the wind! <skip a bit> It was clear that she had no idea how 911 could help with this Shit. She sent out what looked like the entire contents of the nearest firehouse, anyway. Those Angels, who Showed Up that night! What They did for me is something that will NEVER FAIL to make me weep with gratitude and love for Them! Every Soul who lived in Henderson in Oct of 2019 is One of my pay it forward People. This is what YOU have the Power TO DO for a miserably suffering soul: with Respect, Compassion, & Understanding. The people who inspired me to Pay It Forward did that for me, when I was about to hit that Sand HARD! They left Their Own Footprints, instead. #nuffsaid

ALT "What can WE do for YOU?" Debra March~Mayor of Henderson, NV in Oct. of 19; to the transient population in her community. Respect, Compassion, Understanding: right tf there! When you're homeless, you spend a lot of time being "moved along," hassled for no reason; and generally being treated like the animal that the zoo didn’t want. It gets to you. Deeply. There in Henderson, it was a whole different world for me! I had to look up the mayor’s name; but every officer that I encountered in Henderson made a specific point of asking me that question, and crediting her. I can't even describe the effect it had! A single, respectful, compassionate question; coming from the police, no less! <skip a bit> I've never before visited, nor do I expect to see, a more IMPRESSIVE entire department! I’ve goin' on about the Henderson police department for 3 years. I'll never shut up about you! #SwearToGods Job~Very Well Done! And that's NOT a compliment that I give out like candy. #nuffsaid Always, Emma

ALT Light Bulb Jokes! I'm doin' a whole series! Until the well does the thing it does. Please dm submissions! How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? "Get outta here! That's a hardware issue." with the corollary: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb? "You must be a software engineer. How many do ya think?" "Be safe!"~EmU #assEndofReality @go_team_emma

ALT Light Bulb Jokes! I'm doin' a whole series! Until the well does the thing it does. Please dm submissions! How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to change a light bulb? "It's okay! I'll sit in the dark. I don't mind." How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb? 4--1 to do the job, 2 to bring refreshments, and the pianist. "Be safe!"~EmU #assEndofReality @go_team_emma

ALT Light Bulb Jokes! I'm doin' a whole series! Until the well does the thing it does. Please dm submissions! What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew a light bulb. "Be safe!"~EmU #assEndofReality @go_team_emma

ALT Light Bulb Jokes! I'm doin' a whole series... until the well <water emoji> does the thing it does. Please dm submissions! How many San Diegans does it take to change a light bulb? Only 1, but it'll take em the better part of an hour to discover which public recycling bins they can't put the old light bulb into. Blatant <plug emoji> 4 #theSixOneNine <heart emoji> "Be safe!"~EmU #assEndofReality @go_team_emma

ALT Light Bulb Jokes! I'm doin' a whole series! Until the well <water emoji> does the thing it does. Please dm submissions! Dear Vegas locals, I tried to make up a light bulb joke for you, but I was stymied right outta the gate! Wtf would I call you? Somehow... Las Vegans just doesn't sound right, does it? "Be safe!"~EmU #assEndofReality @go_team_emma

ALT "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from." Ain't that the damn truth! I can't tell you how many times I've heard people claim that they don't need luck, they WORKED for their accomplishments. How else would you achieve an accomplishment, Skippy? We can't actually SEE IT, when we get a lucky lift over what could have been a rough spot. We have no way of knowing that potential rough spot was ever there. Not to mention the painfully obvious fact that all of Life's Doors don't Open for everyone. Sometimes we're just stymied right outta the gate, & there's nothin we can do about it. Your amount of work doesn't enter the equation, when you don't get the OPPORTUNITY to work at anything. Go ahead & be proud of your accomplishments! But it's time to surrender the fantasy that these things make you BETTER than others. We can't see the potentially catastrophic Paths that never opened up before us, cuz we were busy Getting Lucky~or Being Privileged~right there, instead.

ALT Meme: img of a donkey facing off with a guy in a collegiate cap & gown. Caption: A degree doesn't mean you're smart. Common sense does. Second caption: You know what a college degree really proves? That you were once privileged enough to be able to pay for the opportunity to pass some tests. That's all it proves! #sorrynotsorry #assEndofReality Knows What's Up! We always did!

ALT I don't call Where Your Sidewalk Ends the Ass End of Reality for the reason you probably think I do. Balaam & that Ass, tho Balaam was ridin' his ass thru town, supposedly doin' a job for God. God disagreed on that point, apparently. An angel of the Lord appeared, blocking his progress; but Balaam couldn't see it. The donkey did, & it turned off the road. Balaam beat its ass with a staff for this unacceptable transgression. Donkey tried--3 times--to continue on. 3 times the angel stood in the hapless ass's way--3 times the poor ass got beaten with a stick. God eventually tired of this game, & empowered the long-suffering donkey to question its master. Balaam blamed his ass for "embarrassing him" by Seeing Reality. At this point, God decided to get all involved in the conversation. Numbers 22:33 "The donkey saw me and turned away from me these 3 times. If it had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now." #oops "But I would have spared it." Ass-End always knew what's up!

ALT I don't call Where Your Sidewalk Ends the Ass-End of Reality for the reason you probably think I do... "Don Quixote n Shit!" Today ~ we discover the solid REASONS to go about tilting at windmills! cue Martin Sheen, but not when HE was: "The American President" "You fight the fights you can win? You fight the fights that need fighting!" #DamnStraight #whatwedo You never know who's watching ~ who NEEDS inspiration and motivation! They MIGHT leap into the fray with you! Maybe you can WIN, now! #welldoneyou Quite often, down here in the ass end, that damn windmill is simply in your damn way! Can't go around--the Life doesn't work that way. Looks like we're goin' thru! Or dyin' in the attempt! Truth bomb: most of us care very little which. A lot of us would prefer that second one! #assEndofReality Knows What's Up! "Be safe!" ~EmU

ALT I don't call Where Your Sidewalk Ends the Ass End of Reality for the reason you probably think I do... "That'll do, Donkey. That'll do." <with a pic of Shrek and the Ass, and a bunch of Donkey quotes> <music emoji> "Cuz you gotta have friends!" "Because that's what friends DO! THEY FORGIVE EACH OTHER!" #DamnStraight #whatwedo “All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night! Shrek’s ugly 24/7!" #shitcanALWAYSgetworse "If you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!” #goodadvice “Before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy.” #nuffsaid “All right, nobody move! I got a dragon here, and I’m not afraid to use it. I’m a donkey on the edge!” #IknowTHATfeeling “You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak ~ well, maybe you do ~ but that’s why we gotta stick together!" #nuffsaidtoo Wise Ass, right? #assEndofReality Knows What's Up! "Be safe!" ~EmU