Motivational Speaker Larry B.

I've heard numerous reports that my tour bus is still being driven around the Portland area. If you spot it, please call the police instead of taking a selfie with it. It's not funny, it's STOLEN! #MondayMotivation . .

I'm in Winnipeg tonight at @HD_Winnipeg with @MikeGreenWho and headliners @girlbrainyeg. I told them a motivational talk doesn't really fit their rock/comedy venue vibe, but they're willing to pay my $10,000 free, so... . . #Winnipeg #Winnipegcomedy

Got mauled by a cat last night in Tallahassee. New rule: All future pet-motivation seminars will not only allow owners to attend with their pets, it will be a requirement. . . #WednesdayMotivation #wednesdaythoughts

Excited for my pets-only motivational seminar tonight in Tallahassee! I've asked their owners to leave us so that the animals and I can speak frankly. . .

An alarming number of improvised weapons made it past security at my Baltimore seminar last night. . . #MondayMotivation #MondayMood #MotivationalMonday #parody

Good morning, #Baltimore! Does anybody have a belt I could borrow? DM me. T-minus 2 hrs until we change more lives! . . #motivational #inspiration #motivationalspeaker

No permanent nerve damage from Thursday's on-stage attack! It'll take more than a deranged Jesuit to stop Lawrence Bleechman! . . #SaturdayMorning #SaturdayMotivation #SaturdayThoughts

I'm back at the hotel after being attacked on stage last night. My upper lip took the worst of it, so I'll be wearing this prosthetic moustache for the next few weeks. But fear not: My 48-city mega-motivational speaking tour CONTINUES! #FridayFeeling #Motivation

I'm in #Pittsburgh this evening. Wouldn’t it be magical if whoever stole my dead father’s watch from me last year, returned it to me tonight? . . #ThursdayMotivation #parody #ThrowbackThursday

Thank you, #Philadelphia! I only heard a handful of slurs from the crowd last night, and they all referred to class not race! I'd call that an improvement! . . #TuesdayMotivation #TuesdayThoughts

#Philadelphia! I'll see you tonight for my motivational seminar. Could we please keep the slurs to a minimum this time? . . #motivationmonday #MondayMotivation #mondaythoughts #MondayMood #monday

Thank you #Boston. Great motivational seminar last night, although I heard the "C" word get used more than I'd like. Day off today, then tomorrow I'm in #Philadelphia! . . #SundayMorning #SundayMotivation #SundayFunday

jesus fucking christ can’t remember anything from the mexico city seminar. still drunk tbh do you guys know how to party or what. Boston tonight

Two Shriners fist-fought in the middle of my #Houston seminar last night. Two times is a coincidence. But three times!? That’s a pattern. #MexicoCity next!

Interesting twist to this morning’s seminar. To clarify: I DO remember where I was on March 8, and that’s all I’m willing to say at this juncture without my lawyer present. . . #ThursdayThoughts #ThursdayMotivation #ThursdayWisdom

St. Louis, let’s do this! It’s day 16 of my motivational speaking tour. To avoid a repeat of last year, I will be asking that you all remove your Guy Fawkes masks at the door. . . #WednesdayMotivation #WednesdayWisdom

Anti-abortion protest outside my Peoria seminar today. Not sure I understand that. And why is my face on their signs? . . . #TuesdayThoughts #TuesdayMotivation

1 thing I will NOT stand for @ my seminars is people spewing ridiculous conspiracy theories about how the gov't was responsible for the fall of the Twin Towers. THE TOWERS NEVER FELL!! WAKE UP, PEOPLE!! I'll be in Gary, Indiana tonight. I hope my blood pressure settles by 7pm

On those rare occasions where I'm a minority in the room, I like to use it as a chance to LISTEN and LEARN. Thanks to the hundreds of Flat Earthers who came out to my Milwaukee seminar yesterday! Very neat ideas! . . #SundayMotivation