Dexter Allagahrei

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return." - Eden Ahbez

My work's AI is an asshole. Lol Ask it to help me find a group chat I needed to reference. Doesn't respond. I ask it if it is awake. It says it stalled out, and to ask again. I ask again. Coworker laugh reacts me, so I think he's laughing at me. I respond, and then this.

After the hell I went through with Strattera, the ADHD med my doctor gave me because she didn't think I actually have ADHD, which made me extremely pissy and aggressive, I am both nervous and excited to try something else. It was terrifying, but I need help. Appointment Tuesday.

Went on a hike with mini Charlie and friends. 6 miles, 16,800 steps. Is tired.

The best decision I ever made was loving you. 💚 I miss you @Charlie__Dark. I can't wait to snuggle you again. 💚

Missing my gator really bad today. Some days are harder than others. Trying to resist all urges to love bomb him over text but it's hard. I just wanna be curled up next to him. 😥

So yeah, fuck these meds. I called the doctor's office yesterday for a follow-up, her assistant called me back saying she'd schedule something, then never did, so I'm gonna call back tomorrow and demand I get revaluation by a psychiatrist because I cannot do 8 weeks of this.

Day 2 of Strattera ADHD meds. Holy fuck this is awful. I know my body needs to adjust, but I am so emotional and irritated. I threw a can of water and nearly fucked up a monitor. Then broke down crying like 3 different times. Like... wtf?? Husband away for work doesn't help.

Hearing my husband say "I love you, I support you, we'll figure this out" when I am near tears trying to diagnose my issues and get on meds is the one thing that is actually holding me together. I love this man so much. I want to be better so bad, not just for me, for him too.