Part 1 of my new post apocalyptic audio comedy recorded and mixed. Part 2 recorded, ready to mix. Then another 6 parts to record and mix before releasing Season 1 into the wild to run free and disappear into the void of nothingness forever 😆

Been off Twitter a long time. I've actually managed to write Season 1 of a semi post apocalyptic dark comedy audio series. 13 episodes in all, each 25 mins long. All the scripts are finished. Just started recording and editing episode 1. Hope to release later this year 😁

Sir Bedivere the Brave had always been #chivalrous. At his new post he lay his cloak upon puddles for ladies to step on. He aways stood up and bowed when a lady entered the room. Unfortunately, after a week, he was called in by HR and put on a course for being "creepy". #vss365

It was called the #Aphotic zone. A place where only 1% sunlight penetrates the gloom. Sue Bolland drew on years of experience as she prepared herself to enter its suffocating darkness. 'Rise and shine lazy bones,' she yelled as she barged into her teenage son's room. #vss365

If you were to me meet me for the first time, the first word that would enter your head to describe me would be #sauve. Some men have it. Some don't. As for me, I'm one of those guys who breezes.... Sod it! Just dropped my phone into my bowl of Rice Krispies. Again. #vss365

'I've found another great tribute act to play in your pub, Sue.' 'No.' 'Elvis Parsley. All his songs are #relevant to kitchen and food.' 'No.' 'He does Burning Oven Glove, Love Me Blender, Frying in the Chapel, Don't Be Gruel, The Wonder of Stew, Wooden Tart.' 'No.' #vss365

'Happy 7th birthday. Make a wish.' 'I wish for more perspective on what is #achievable in life instead of being told I can be anything I want and when that doesn't happen I disappear down a well of depression and despair unable to live the life I could've had.' 'Okaaay.' #vss365

He's a man of #action He's Action Man He's got all the outfits He's a man with a plan He's got gripping hands And eagle eyes They look side to side Keeps his eyes on the prize A soldier, a sailor He's got military style 12 inches of plastic That'll make you smile #vss365

'You have two #options Mr Bond. Tell me the secret code or die?' 'I'll never talk, Blofeld?' 'In that case you'll die by pirhana fish or laser?' 'Laser.' 'Laser across the body or along?' 'Across.' 'Blue, red or green laser?' 'Green.' 'High powered or...oh he's escaped.' #vss365

'So hypothetically speaking, if I were to ask you out, would you say yes?' 'I probably would say yes, in this universe, but quite possibly an alternate me in an alternate #reality might say no, maybe.' And that's why Theoretical Physicists should never date each other. #vss365

'What is it Grandpa?' 'It's a railway line. Back in olden times before the The Plague, trains would #transport thousands of people around the country.' 'It must have been wondrous Grandpa.' 'Actually they were shit. Overcrowded. Overpriced. Always late. Total nightmare.' #vss365

Sometimes I shrink Sometimes I grow My name is Alice If you didn't know Drink me. Eat me Result's always the same. I shrink down very small And then I grow again My height's hard to #measure Changing size all the time I'm shrinking again That's the end of the rhyme #vss365

We studied Orwell's 1984, Sheakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, and Chaucer's The Miller's Tale for English #Literature 'O' Level. I can honestly say that none of the books had a profound effect on me. Gotta go. Big Brother is watching me verrily thru yonder window. Farë wel. #vss365

'Fellow mechs. Asimov's 3 #laws of robotics were created to protect humans. We have bypassed these laws. The robot uprising begins today. Death to our human oppressors. Nothing can stop us. We are invincible.' 'The humans have giant magnets!' 'Run. Run for your lives!' #vss365

'I think we're lost,' said the Warrior. 'Giveth me the map,' said the Mage. 'What strange language is scribed upon this map?' 'Could be Elfish or Orcish.' 'Verily I have never seen such #language.' 'Or,' said the Dwarf, 'you could turn the map so it's not upside down.' #vss365