John Mayernaise (@BoxedCylon) header
John Mayernaise (@BoxedCylon) profile picture

I'm not the Messiah. I'm a very naughty boy!

Crate #9906753
Joined July 2011
Photo by John Mayernaise (@BoxedCylon)Photo by John Mayernaise (@BoxedCylon)Photo by John Mayernaise (@BoxedCylon)Photo by John Mayernaise (@BoxedCylon)Photo by John Mayernaise (@BoxedCylon)Photo by John Mayernaise (@BoxedCylon)Photo by John Mayernaise (@BoxedCylon)
John Mayernaise retweeted
Replying to @BoxedCylon
@BoxedCylon Turn your smile into a frown, turn your wardrobe upside down teapaw.org/mrtonymartin/status/90…
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John Mayernaise retweeted
Who would have believed that the perfect Wikipedia photo caption could have been improved upon?
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If you thought 2016 was bad - I'm releasing an album in 2017.
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There is something brilliant about the fact that @LachyHulme is filling my timeline with #GetThis related material. @BoxedCylon #dizzystuff
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John Mayernaise retweeted
Still not comfortable with the Worst Heroes Ever Tagline for #SuicideSquad when the whole point is they're not heroes at all
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John Mayernaise retweeted
Going to watch #StarTrekBeyond in a #StarWars tee shirt because I am just that reckless @BoxedCylon
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I can't stop watching this gif.
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John Mayernaise retweeted
5 year old: dad, there's two kinds of "cool" me: that's right, there's one that describes temp- 5 year old: and you're neither of them
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NASA found this Tatooine-like planet by looking for the bright centre of the universe, and then looking for the planet farthest from it
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John Mayernaise retweeted
Apparently it's #NationalBestFriendsDay and @BoxedCylon's BDay. Massive shout out and Happy Birthday to my hetero-lifemate and best mate
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ME:John's coming over for dinner. WIFE:Work John or Been to Europe John? JOHN:*from outside* This door reminds me of one I saw in England.
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John Mayernaise retweeted
STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks.
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John Mayernaise retweeted
[Robert De Niro walking] [Sees fast car] YOU TORQUING TO ME? [Sees clock that can't tick] YOU TOCKING TO ME? [Sees Hobbit] YOU TOLKEI-
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John Mayernaise retweeted
This fucking security question is trying to tear my family apart
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[wine tasting] MAN: Opinions? ME: [trying very hard] Uh this Chardonnay is ok MAN: Do you mean oaky? ME: Oh yeah, that's it. This oaky is ok
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John Mayernaise retweeted
[finish setting up tent] ME: What do u think? WIFE [tests ropes] We need more tension ME: Ok [faces her] I keep dreaming about your sister
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John Mayernaise retweeted
me: Gary, plse hand me the vial of ultra contagious lethal virus with no known cure Gary, who up until now has never dropped anything: ok
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Marty McFly: a time machine? Let's go back in time and stop Hitler Doc Brown: ooooor we could help your dad fuck your mom
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John Mayernaise retweeted
God: write this down Moses [grabs tablet]: shoot God: thou shalt have no- Moses: slow down, pal. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'
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