
Artist | Writer | Cordial ex of @BleacherReport and @FanSided.
Lawrence, Kansas
Joined June 2009
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Brett Gering retweeted
05/23/2026 10:40AM Caller from South/Pleasant Street reports male party wearing camo clothing and possibly carrying a bazooka in the area. Officer reports male is landscaper with leaf blower.
Brett Gering retweeted
Ive been killing it with older people lately. They'll ask "how's it goin?" So ill respond "another day"
They'll say back "another dollar, right?"
Then it hit them with a "hopefully more than one"
And they're LOVING IT
Brett Gering retweeted
me asking everyone how they like their burger before I cook them all exactly the same
Brett Gering retweeted
Someone on here said "Cam Newton dresses like he controls a hot air balloon." I cackled and haven't been able to unsee it since then.
Brett Gering retweeted
If you send me an email through X, I am sending you back a virus the likes of which has not been seen since the Bubonic Plague
Brett Gering retweeted
It’s hilarious to me that every microwave has a “popcorn” button and every package of microwave popcorn says DO NOT USE POPCORN BUTTON – at Los Angeles, CA
Brett Gering retweeted
Every gift guide for men is like "A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey."
Brett Gering retweeted
Shot some craps for first time this trip. Busted on my 2nd roll. Dude derisively says “Nice roll Blues Clues.” Heading to my room to weep at the most cutting put down I’ve ever received in my life.
Brett Gering retweeted
1 monkey recovered safely, 42 others remain on the run from South Carolina lab apnews.com/article/escaped-r…




































