#BREAKING @_lucialee puts rumours to rest and finally ranks "baguette" as her favourite 'fucking long bread'

#BREAKING @TateMayfairs SNAPS PENUS AT LEGOLAND, EXPECTED OUT 6-9 WEEKS

#BREAKING @JustJoeLando can't

#BREAKING @PureTKC sleeps in a wetsuit because, quote, "ya never know"

#BREAKING @ChuckMambo GOES ALL THE WAY TO TESCO AND FORGETS TO BUY LOO ROLL, AGAIN

#BREAKING @HarrisonLeonUK rates the new Nissan micra as "fine"

yo @VinceMcMahon give me three million quid and a night with Akira tozawa and I'll personally take you to @_BluePain_ 's house and lock the doors

Everyone at brit wres report would like to wish @RoyJohnsonYeah best of luck with his vasectomy today #snipsnip

#BREAKING @SweetPrinceBH did a poo behind a Morrisons and thought nobody saw, but I saw.

#BREAKING @RJSinghIsKing HAS TOUGH DAY

#BREAKING @ELIJAHWrestler starts writing "Loose Women" themed anime

#BREAKING @imsomunny SHAGS ARDVARK

#BREAKING @manlikebanks retiring due to fear of slough

#BREAKING @chrisridgeway__ to debut new "I still have a sky+ package" gimmick

#BREAKING @Flash_Morgan has never seen Spiderman 3

#BREAKING @jackknudsen01 found dead aged 34 (he uses dove) (not dead)

#BREAKING matt sandal is concussed as fuck.

I'm getting signed this year no doubt NO DOUBT.

. @LunaRoxWrestler can get fucked. FUCKED, mate.

. @KuruptKieran has had sex in every Greggs in Birmingham.