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How do I tell my dad I hit a fucking turkey going 95? He’s gonna be FUCKING FUCKING pissed. #uppermiddleclass #whatthefuck
Nice lady at Marshall’s told me I was the 6th person to buy this stuff today. Just call me a sheep, I deserve it.
Pretty self explanatory. Even the whale knows it’s a white boy summer. #VV
If I ever find myself on death row, I think I have an idea of what my last meal will be. #expand
It’s the summer of the whale. #fuckwithme #WhiteBoySummer
Buster “Duster” Duffy retweeted
“We lost 3rd leg” #LLAG
Gonna go ahead and send my grandma an apology text a day in advance for my actions on Easter Sunday. #LANK
Feigning for a 2 week Minecraft phase right about now. #expand
1. Nipple Gatorade
2. Canned Gatorade (on the golf course)
3. Any other bottle of Gatorade
Argue with a wall.

















