US Army Tank Vet + Basset Hounds. Austin & Little Rock #WPS 🐗 🐶 🎣 🇺🇸
Austin, TX
Joined July 2013
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On Halloween my neighbor had “sheriff line do not cross” tape wrapped around their teens car and yard. I thought it was a decoration. When it was still there yesterday I thought, oh God, fentanyl got another one.
This morning, I was relieved to see a beekeeper removing a hive. 🐝
Not much has changed for me in Texas this morning except I joined the local High School girls flag football team.
If you’re in line at Panda Express in Cedar Park, Texas right now STAY IN LINE. If they tell you they’re out of something, WAIT!!!
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Them: What are you dressed up as?
Me: I'm a harp.
Them: Your costume's too small to be a harp.
Me: Are you calling me a lyre?
Butters Kennedy retweeted
I have news for Teddy: His emergency supply is cheap but plentiful.
“Hello. I am your tour guide, Michael. Frank was supposed to be your guide, but he died this morning. In this cooler are beer and snacks. Please have your closed-toe shoes ready.”
😬
