Nathan Fielder

Me showing up to work

Am I shattering the glass ceiling cause I’m Sexy?

Fuck sandwich Marry soup Kill salad

One of the biggest lies my parents ever told me was that the generic is just as good as name brand. No tf it’s not.

I think it’s so sad when a player gets injured and they put the towel over their head as they get carted out. It’s like damn might as way put on a paper bag

It’s cause im advanced

Americas funniest home videos has rarely been funny to me

I take this back after he brought out cudi 💯💯💯

FUCK IM ACTUALLY HEALED

I’m sick of those who reply to me in .2 seconds. Take your time. Touch the grass.

Sometimes I feel like John travolta in pulp fiction

Don’t fuck with a bitches miney

See there’s leaders and there’s followers but I’d rather be a dick than a swallower

Lord stop me before I post some Kanye lyrics to my Instagram story

Kid cudi and Kanye are getting back together and once they do I’ll be healed

I can’t believe they made whippits illegal. Y’all may have well made me illegal too