Crusader for wordplay, puns and corect spelling.
Joined October 2018
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If you go to Times Square to create division, do you end up back where you started?
#Lunchpun
I've just got a universal remote that is reported to work on kids.
It doesnt seem to work on my daughter, so I'm keeping my son on standby.
#LunchPun
After finally getting over his social media addiction, my cousin has regressed into being a troll.
I've told him that living under a bridge shouting at goats is no kind of life but he's having none of it.
#LunchPun
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Our house is haunted by the ghost of a cockerel.
I think it's a poultrygeist.
#Lunchpun
My mate challenged me to do an impression of an owl.
I'm struggling to get my head around it.
#LunchPun
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I'm not saying that replacing the bulb in the lamp at the top of the Blackpool tower was the best day in my career, but it was a highlight.
#Lunchpun
When i joined the local Polish society, I had to take a Pledge of allegiance.
They weren't happy with that.
#LunchPun
After 10 consecutive days of crashing my bike, I've decided to
brake the cycle.
#LunchPun
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Which of the following people has qualifications in biochemistry?
- Farmer A
- Farmer B
- Farmer C
#LunchPun
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Whilst working at the paint factory, i worked out that the chances of falling into a tin of bright red are one in vermillion.
#LunchPun
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This is not a good week.
RIP Tim Curry.
I replayed red alert 3 just to watch him in the video sequences not long ago.
Another legend gone.
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RIP to another legend. That sort of charm doesn't come around too often, let alone her music ability.
This has caught me off guard, a bit like Robin Williams did.
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I got my parking fine refunded when I was granted a wish by the genie from the clamp.
#Lunchpun
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-"My friend has a thing about blokes driving farm machinery."
-"A tractor?"
-"Yes, she goes all weak at the knees."
#LunchPun
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A man who had both left limbs severed in freak accident 3 months ago has just been released from hospital.
He's all right now.
#LunchPun
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-"My stone chippings should have arrived by now"
-"Slate?"
-"Yes by several hours"
#LunchPun
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"Why did you do that?" said Eminem's bodyguard as he helped pull random litter out of his client's hair.
"Mummy always told me to put the rappers in the bin"
#LunchPun
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