World's Worst Agile Coach
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Joined May 2013
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RT @atlassian: We're more than just a software company. Introducing... Atlassian #BitBand! RT and spread the word: atlassian.com/bitband
Difficult sprint? Cancel the demo and don't notify stakeholders. (They'll never notice!) ow.ly/s9HRK
Who needs #agile requirements?! Just dump all those details right into the roadmap. ow.ly/s9HPS
.@JordannGross @jbeerdev If you can't be busy as a #scrum master, make busy-work for other people. That's the Rong™ way!
Hate fixing bugs? Let them pile up until the execs complain, then do lots of hardening sprints. ow.ly/s9HN8 #agile
#Agile triage sessions are meant to solve issues. Discuss each issue to its full resolution. ow.ly/s9HL5
Involve everyone in releasing code so they feel important. It's the #agile team, right? ow.ly/s9HEH
Never test early code. It's not like you will actually turn that code into a product. ow.ly/rd3HK #agile
Move things you think are important to in progress. That will make the #agile dev team work harder. ow.ly/s9HzB
Coding the Rong way! RT @RebelLabs: Have a problem with legacy code? It's probably originating from these folks: 0t.ee/OX9nj0
#Agile Kanban? Ensure everyone on the team is a unique specialist. Flow issues show up immediately! ow.ly/rd30k
Never terminate a lagging #agile sprint. Slogging through it makes everyone learn! ow.ly/s9HrW
#Agile planning poker problems? Give difficult people a special card color so you know who to ignore. ow.ly/s9HmJ
Sort your backlog alphabetically so it's organized. Everyone knows what's important anyway. ow.ly/s9Hd8 #distagile #AAB14
Always bring controversial topics up at the end of #agile meetings to force quick decisions on them. ow.ly/s9HjX
Successful #agile retrospectives focus on issues outside the team. That way everyone feels great. ow.ly/s9Hhx