X can fuck off. Come find me on the other stuff. I’m always @cobinmillage because my name is weird.

I’m only back to post this. Fuck Charlie Kirk.

I think the Costco Guy’s 15 minutes is up, but the Rizzler can turn this into a career. I also think the climate crisis will kill us all before he gets there, but I’m picking one hill to die on today.

Me: I’m playing chess, while the rest of these fools are playing checkers. Judge as the checkers tournament: Ok

Me doubling down about my girlfriend who goes to a different school:

Do like Do horses know they’re wearing shoes?

God damn. OG Maco was a real one. RIP.

Did you know that you can bite gold to see if it’s real? And did you know that not all gold is edible? Wild stuff, happy holidays. I’ll be at the hospital if you need me

Watching Joe Rogan speak was the first thing I did this year. This does not bode well.

I like declining to tell a long story by saying “long story” because I know it’s a long story, but I also know that I’ll turn it into an even longer story because I just can’t shut the fuck up. This tweet could have been shorter.

Guy I’m lost as hell I shouldn’t have bought this map

Been getting freaky with an improviser. In retrospect “yes, and” is a bad safe word.

$5 says the shooter is in this lineup

“I can’t believe that someone killed that CEO. This resonates with me because I will one day be a billionaire at risk of assassination.” - Lots of folk, today, it seems.