Much more interesting on a screen than in person. Aren't we all a bit like that?
DM for promo
Joined July 2023
- Tweets27.1K
- Following1.2K
- Followers3.5K
- Likes60.4K
Pinned Tweet
I found out my girlfriend of two years was cheating on me when the other guy contacted me, saying he had no idea I existed. I ended the relationship immediately. Months later, I discovered my own mom and sister were still talking to my ex. They promised to cut contact after learning she had cheated, but I caught them doing it again. When I confronted them, my sister called me controlling. I walked out of that family dinner wondering how the people closest to me could defend someone who had hurt me so badly.
I spent $650 on a plane ticket so my long-distance girlfriend could visit me. The night before her flight, her bag got locked inside her mother's car. She then slept through 20 alarms, woke up an hour before departure, and couldn't find her ID. By the time she sorted everything out, her flight was gone. What hurt most wasn't losing the money. It was that she hadn't seemed excited about the visit even the day before. I started wondering whether this was just a terrible morning or whether I was the only one trying to make our relationship work.
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
Some of you are secretly rich on this app, and Iโm patiently waiting for you to mistakenly remember me. ๐ฅน๐คฒ
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
My neighbour was complaining about the New York Giants during their game against the Houston Texans.
At halftime, the score was 14โ14, and he was already frustrated. By the fourth quarter, the Giants were leading 21โ14, but Houston scored late to force overtime.
My neighbour was practically glued to the screen.
Then Cam Skattebo broke free for a 42-yard run, setting up Devin Singletary's 30-yard winning touchdown.
The Giants won 27โ21, and my neighbour jumped up, clapping and shouting. He couldn't stop smiling.
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
my best friend told me to read the lease before signing it because "you never read anything, you just scroll to the bottom and say yes."
i said i'm an adult and i know what a lease is. i said it's basically 12 pages of "don't set the apartment on fire." i signed it in the leasing office with a pen i borrowed from the guy at the desk, and i even winked at him like we'd both won something.
he winked back. i should've asked why...
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
Heโs standing on the rocks in white swim briefs that sit low and tight, the fabric clinging while the water breaks behind him. Theo James has one hand on his hip, the other hanging loose, chest and stomach fully open under the sun, the wet skin catching the light across every line of his torso. The second shot moves to the boat. Heโs leaning back against the white seating, one arm raised behind his head, the same briefs on, legs open so the full stretch of his body stays in frame against the blue water and the cliffs.
The briefs donโt cover much, and he doesnโt try to adjust them. In the first photo the white fabric sits high on the thighs and low on the hips, the drawstring tied at the front while his hand rests right above it. In the second the same cut stays visible as he reclines, the light running across his chest, stomach, and the open space between his legs
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
I've run a dry cleaner's in Ghent for twenty-five years. Most things get collected within a week. A few never do.
On the back rail of my shop hangs a grey wool coat, left fourteen years ago. The ticket was filled in by hand: Name: Pieter. Collect: Friday. He never came back for it.
I'm supposed to sell unclaimed items after ninety days. I never could, so I kept it, covered in plastic, between a wedding dress and a school blazer.
Every second of February, a man in his eighties came in and asked the same thing. "Is the grey coat still here?" I'd say yes. He'd pay four euros, the cost of one year's storage, and walk out without looking at it.
For fourteen years, I took his four euros. I never asked why.
This February, he didn't come. By the afternoon I couldn't concentrate, so I took the coat off the rail for the first time and checked the pockets. In the inside pocket was an envelope, sealed, with my shop's name on it...
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
Ignore people whose hobby is trying to humble you, theyโre miserable and it shows.
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
Almost two years ago, I found out that my husband was seeing another woman. He abandoned both me and our daughter. Two days ago, he asked to meet, saying heโs in a bad state... both physically and mentally. I agreed to help him, but with no intention of resuming the relationship. Two days later, he asked. if we could try to get back together.. a big NO.
I went on a first date and asked her how her day had been. She spent 45 minutes talking about herself. When she finally asked about my day, she interrupted me within a minute and turned the conversation back to herself. This continued for over an hour until she suddenly said, โIโm bored.โ I had already realized we werenโt compatible, but that was the moment I decided to leave. I wasnโt looking for someone to impress. I just wanted a conversation where both people actually cared about each other.
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
I had sex with a woman to escape a debt I couldnโt repay, and I never imagined that one desperate decision would turn my life upside down.
I was 26, broke, and three months behind on a loan Iโd taken to keep my small business running. The woman I owed was 34, successful, confident, and tired of hearing my excuses.
When she invited me to her apartment to discuss repayment, I expected another argument.
Instead, she poured us both a drink and said, โWhat if thereโs another way you could settle what you owe me?โ
I looked at her, confused.
She held my gaze and added, โA way that could benefit both of us.โ
Suddenly, I understood what she was suggesting.
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
Walked out of a job interview halfway through.
I had a final-round interview yesterday for a position I was genuinely excited about, and somehow the hiring manager managed to make me lose interest in less than 15 minutes.
The meeting was supposed to be a conversation about my experience, the team, and what I could bring to the company. Instead, it felt like I was being interrogated for a crime I hadnโt committed.
She started by asking me to explain a project Iโd worked on and what I considered my biggest contribution. Before I could finish, she interrupted me to ask why I hadnโt approached it differently.
I explained my reasoning.
She gave me a look and said, โThatโs not really how we do things here.โ
Okay, but you literally asked me how I handled it at my previous company?
The next question was about a gap in my rรฉsumรฉ. I explained that Iโd taken time to care for a family member, and she immediately asked whether that meant I struggled with commitment.
I actually laughed because I thought she was joking.
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
ใใณใทใงใณใฎ็ฎก็็ตๅใฎไฟฎ็น็ฉ็ซ้ใใ็ทไผใฎ่ณๆใใใ840ไธๅใๅฐใชใใฃใใๆฐใฅใใใฎใฏใๆฏๅนดใๅ
จใใผใธใ่ชญใใงใใใ78ๆญณใฎ็ฌใๆฎใใใฎ่ไบบใใใ ไธไบบใ ใฃใใๆฐ็ฑณ็ไบใฎ็งใฏใใใฎ่ไบบใซใใใ่จใใใใใใๅฌขใใใใใใฏใ็ไบ้ทใใใซใฏใ่จใใชใใงใๅ
ใซใใใชใใซใ่ฆใฆใปใใใฃใใ ใใ ใใใใ
็งใฏ31ๆญณใๅปๅนดใใใฎใใณใทใงใณใ่ฒทใฃใใ
ไปๅนดใใใๅผใใงใ็ฎก็็ตๅใฎ็ไบใซใชใฃใฆใใพใฃใใ
็ไบ้ทใฎๆต็ฐใใใฏใ68ๆญณใๅต่จญๆใใไฝใใงใใใไฝๆฐใ ใ
ๆจๆถใฏใใใคใไธๅฏงใๅค็ฅญใใฎ็ผใใใฐใใๆฏๅนดใ่ชๅใง็ผใใ
ใใใฎไบบใใใ้ใ๏ผใ
ไฟกใใใใชใใฃใใ
ใงใใ้ๅธณใฎใณใใผใจใ็ทไผ่ณๆใไธฆในใใจใๆฐๅญใใๅใใชใใฃใใ
็ฉ็ซ้ใฎๆฎ้ซใฏใ่ณๆใงใฏใ4,120ไธๅใ
ๅฎ้ใฎ้ๅธณใฏใ3,280ไธๅใ
ๅทฎใฏใ840ไธๅใ
่ไบบใฏใ้ๅฃใใใจใใฃใใๅ
ใไผ่จๅฃซใ
ใๆฐใฅใใใฎใฏใ3ๅนดๅใใงใใใฉใใใฆใใ่จใใชใใฃใใฎใ
้ๅฃใใใฏใๅคใใใผใใใๅบใใใ
ใๆฏๅนดใๅฐใใใคใๆธใฃใฆใใใ ใใงใใ่จ้ฒใฏใใใใถใๆต็ฐใใใฎๅญใงใใใใใซๆดใฃใฆใใใ
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
My sons friends alleviates my misery
I have everything some people wish for - a nice house, a good husband and a kid. There is something thatโs been missing from
my life though, and thatโs action. I married a way older man way too young, had my son when I was 22 and Iโve been my husbandโs miserable housewife for the past 20 years.
We have a nice house and he earns good money, but he travels a lot for work so Iโm
home alone most of the time. When heโs home, our sรจx life is very vanilla and boring. Lights off, quiet doggystyle sรจx until he cรนms in a few minutes. It mustโve been years since I sucked his dรฌck or that he had his mouth on me.
My son is an angel but heโs always been a loser, spending more time with video games than going out with girls or hanging out with friends. In his senior year of high school though, he finally found a nice friend group. A few kids from around town that encourage him to go to the gym with them and what not.
Sometimes he has them over at our house, which I welcome because it is way too quiet here otherwise.
Last Saturday, his friend J came over for dinner after they were out playing pickleball together. They came in hot and heavy, sweaty and tired, wearing grey sweatpants and tanktops. I was wearing some yoga pants and a sweater, just my usual clothes with my blonde hair in a messy bun. J made no secret of flirting with me during dinner, making smart quips and joking around. I tried subtly mentioning my husband and flashing my wedding band, to no avail.
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
I cancelled my date because she told me to send her money for Uber.
She texted it twenty minutes before I was supposed to leave. โHey, can you Cash App me $40 for the ride? Iโm broke this week.โ No โplease,โ no offer to split, no โIโll get you back.โ Just the demand, like it was already decided.
I stared at the message for a second, then typed back: โIโm not doing that. Cancelled.โ
She replied in under a minute. โWow. So you expect me to pay to come see you? Thatโs not how this works. Real men take care of the ride.โ
I told her real men donโt get invoiced before the first drink. She called me cheap, said I was โshowing my true colors,โ and that sheโd already told her friends I was taking her out. When I didnโt answer, she posted a story: black screen, white text, โcancelled on for asking for Uber money. Men are trash.โ
By the time I checked, it had fifty comments. Most of them agreed with her. A few said I should have just sent the $40 โto be nice.โ One guy said heโd have paid it and more. I left the app open, watched the likes climb, and deleted her number.
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
I am not a workaholic. I have it completely under control. I can stop at any time.
๐๐๐ฎ โ retweeted
็งใไฝๅฝ3ใๆใ ใจๆใ่พผใใ ้ท็ทๅซใฏใ็ช็ถๆตทๅคๆ
่กใง่ฑช้ใๅงใใ
ใใใใกใใพใ ็ใใฆใใฎ๏ผ๏ฝใ
ๆ
่กๅ
ใใๅฑใใใกใใปใผใธใ่ฆใฆใ็งใฏใใฐใใ็ป้ขใ่ฆใคใใใ
ใใฉใณใๅใ
้ซ็ดใใใซใ
ใใกใผในใใฏใฉในใ
้ท็ทๅซใฏใ็งใใใใใไบกใใชใ้บ็ฃใๅ
ฅใใจๆใฃใฆใใใใใใฃใใ
้ท็ทใพใงๆญขใใชใใฃใใ