The first time I truly allowed myself to open up during sex and love someone with the full expression of myself, it was terrifying. Exhilarating. Transformative. It was an experience of such great intensity that all the weird kink stuff I thought I was into seemed laughable and small in comparison. So many of my false desires died in that moment. That was the secret. Surprise! Love is the secret. It's so simple it almost feels like a trick. And as it turns out a lot of kinks and fetishes are just simalucra, little prisons of false feeling, to keep you disconnected from ever experiencing the real thing.