FAREWELL: Well, it's time to say goodbye. I'd like to thank my predecessor for entrusting this to me, and I'd like to thank all of you for enjoying my posts over the last three years. Remember, in a world where you can be anything, be kind. And also, fuck the Daily Mail.

GUY ADAMS: What is to blame for the absolute shitshow that is HS2? Well it's OBVIOUSLY diversity!

FRONT COVER: Why would you want a new class war when we've had a perfectly good one going for the last thirteen years?

TOMORROW: Just when you think she can't get any more awful...

FLEABAGS: Woman wears ring after making a lot of money.

PETER HITCHENS: I get paid for this shit.

TODAY: Sir Keir Starmer reveals 'monstrous' plan to try and help the UK recover from economic disaster by... just following EU rules.

"WAR": All I did was wear a t-shirt designed to provoke and upset people and the next thing I knew I was being punished for it. When will the trans lobby leave us alone?!

TOMORROW: Fuck the planet!

ANNOUNCEMENT: Since Elon Musk is going to be charging to use X, I've decided to end DMReporter on 30th September. Quite frankly, I'm already not enjoying using this platform right now as it becomes increasingly broken and right-wing, and I absolutely refuse to pay for it.

It would hardly be the first time the Mail has indulged in victim blaming.

FORGETTING RUSSELL BRAND: Daily Mail unearths years-old interview and presents it as 'news'. It's almost as if they wanted to take the chance to publish photos of Kristen Bell in a bikini...

AMANDA PLATELL: If Labour gets into power then who knows how many fictional teenagers will end up being able to vote.

DÉJÀ VU ALL OVER AGAIN: If Thomas Markle can keep regurgitating the same shit then so can I.

UPDATE: Another heavyweight coming out in support of Russell Brand.

RUSSELL BRAND: Someone tell the Mail that "he has Elon Musk and Andrew Tate on his side" isn't the defence they think it is.

WHOOPS:

HS2: Don't worry folks, I'm sure that eventually the Conservatives will deliver us a high-speed train servicing everywhere from London to slightly outside London.