⛳️GOLFER SPENDS $8,000 ON SIMULATOR TO AVOID $45 GREEN FEES Wife requests independent audit after discovering the garage now has a monthly subscription. DENVER, CO — Local golfer Brian Miller announced he has solved the rising cost of golf by spending $8,000 to play it in the room where his wife used to park. “At $45 a round, this thing basically pays for itself,” Miller explained, standing beside a launch monitor he financed for 36 months. “You have to think long term.” His wife, Jennifer, briefly thought long term before asking why their retirement account was now projecting a fade. The installation includes a hitting mat, impact screen, projector, gaming computer, and what Miller described as “a few little extras” that required a second delivery truck. “It was originally a $3,000 project,” Jennifer said. “Apparently that price was for the part where he told me about it.” Miller estimates he will break even after approximately 178 rounds, provided nobody counts electricity, software subscriptions, replacement balls, or the ceiling repair from his first full wedge. He also excluded the space heater. “You can’t put a price on year-round practice,” he said, shortly after putting a price of $349 on year-round heat. Despite owning digital access to dozens of famous courses, Miller has spent most of his time on the virtual driving range trying to determine whether the machine is broken. “I don’t hit it that short in real life,” he said. According to Jennifer, the simulator has already delivered one measurable improvement: Miller can now blame his equipment without leaving home. Asked whether he would cancel his regular Saturday tee time, Miller appeared confused. “Of course not,” he said. “That’s actual golf.” At press time, Miller was researching a $1,200 putting mat to reduce his dependence on free practice greens.

Let's get this day started. What are your plans? Work or golf?

Ouch!!!

This hurts every time I watch it.

This is how I feel.

🚨Michael Kim REFUSES to Work With Daily Divot Our one-person newsroom is devastated. Both departments have stopped functioning. Michael Kim has become the center of a major media controversy after refusing to work with The Daily Divot, a golf publication whose employee benefits include coffee and access to a slightly different chair. The rejection sent shockwaves through the organization, forcing its editor, publisher, reporter and social media manager to call an emergency meeting with himself. “We thought we had a competitive offer,” said the visibly shaken editor. “Zero salary, unlimited exposure and the opportunity to be blamed for headlines he didn’t write.” Negotiations reportedly stalled when the newsroom realized it had confused following someone on X with establishing a formal business relationship. “We had already pictured him joining the team,” the editor explained. “Apparently, that carries very little weight with human resources.” The proposed role would have required Kim to provide putting insights, occasional interviews, and an explanation of why the editor’s seven-iron goes the same distance as his pitching wedge. In return, Kim would receive the prestigious title of Senior Putting Correspondent, a title previously held by an unattended range basket. The Daily Divot initially considered boycotting Kim’s tournament coverage. That plan collapsed when the sports desk remembered it enjoys his posts. “We’re exploring other ways to express our disappointment,” management said. “So far, we’ve refreshed our notifications 43 times.” Despite the setback, the publication remains optimistic. “Michael is welcome to reconsider,” said the editor. “But we cannot guarantee that the unpaid position will remain available forever. There’s a guy at the driving range who says he almost qualified for something.” At press time, The Daily Divot had promoted itself to Chief Recovery Officer and approved a second cup of coffee. @Mike_kim714

Did you miss the putt? Not to my knowledge.

On October 18, Trump announced that East Potomac Golf Course would close on November 15 for roughly 15 months of renovations, aiming to create a world-class tournament venue. Should an affordable public golf course be transformed into a championship venue if it could mean higher prices and less access for everyday golfers? #golf #Trump @PlayDCGolf

What a cool photo.

I am tired. Time for sleep. 😴

#̢̛ͥ̀̽̽ͨ̌̓͆̇̀̽ͦͨͫͯ̏̎̇̈̚͜҉̕͢͏͡҉̸̶̛͢͡҉̵̨̭̳̘̹̫͔͖̜̠͖̫̲̖̱̤̻̖͉͢͞͡ͅͅ͏̸̷̢͑̊̀̐ͣͭͭ̉͂ͨ̽͒̊̎͛ͪ̊̎ͩͧ̀͝͠͠͏ This is interesting.

I came home from golf the other day, and my better half said, "Did you buy a new driver?" and I said, "Not to my knowledge." FYI. It did not work.

What’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a round of golf? Why did it take so long?

Did anyone else have numbers fall off like this or do I just suck at this? 😆

We are in real trouble.

This is why I don't watch basketball anymore. @NBA

So, you want to be a Llama Professional in Colorado? Know your rules: law.justia.com/codes/colorad…