@DarrellDawson

Copywriter specializing in humor. World's biggest @CLEGuardians / Pearl Jam / Eddie Vedder fan. 77 years + counting without a World Series.

 Ohio
ohiocopywriter.wixsite.com/mysite
Joined August 2008
  • Tweets55.9K
  • Following614
  • Followers811
3KMedia
If you need a ziploc to keep your cereal fresh you need to select a better cereal
Polymarket
@Polymarket15h
JUST IN: Cheerios announces the first-ever resealable cereal bag, partnering with Ziploc to keep cereal fresh longer.
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Go birds
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WE’RE THE F’ING GUARDIANS!!! retweeted
erin🪩@wallowsgardenOct 26
elmo doing an impression of lorne michaels is actually killing me so bad bc why is it good
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🌊Zero Dark Twenty-Nine 🌊🖋️
@herotimeszeroOct 25
Trump posts a pic of Obamas as apes. MAGA:😂😂😂 Trump: I'm glad Rob Reiner is dead! MAGA:👏👏👏 Trump: Rob Mueller is dead. Good! He deserved it. MAGA:🤣🥳🇺🇸 Obama compares White House to a Cheesecake Factory. MAGA: Noo! Stop making fun of the Cheesecake Factory!! Waaah!!
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S.E. Cupp
@secuppOct 24
Just talked to an Ohio voter who said she didn’t care about the Vivek ad. Voting for this loser, creep, chud anyway, because she didn’t like Acton’s Covid response. I’ve also heard from lots of Paxton voters who are happy to hold their nose to keep the state red. Don’t count on anti-Trump turnout. GO VOTE.
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Rockefeller@passtherockeOct 23
Dog owners when their dog is attacking you
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I work in a law office and whenever I come across someone whose criminal history has them speeding in Oct 1997 I’m like duh he was rushing home to watch the Tribe in the playoffs.
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Red Ball Market Global@thepwrofgodOct 21
Interesting that Conan now has: 1. Hands down the best Hot Ones episode 2. Hands down the best Subway Takes episode I think someone should hire this guy for a show 🤔🤔
SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma
@SubwayTakesOct 20
All statues should be made out of soap!! @ConanOBrien
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Jack Linnehan@JackLinnehanOct 20
He is the funniest man alive, and the 2nd funniest person alive behind the woman who sits next to him and Kareem at the end
SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma
@SubwayTakesOct 20
All statues should be made out of soap!! @ConanOBrien
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This guy has a thousand neighbors and a hundred family members who each own unique multimillion businesses. What are the odds?
Trenton Hughes
@trentjhughesOct 20
Dude in my neighborhood sold a business $10M He's building another one now Drives a Rolls Royce Constantly on the phone Doesn't seem to see his kids a ton At what point does it become enough?
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3 minutes of hilarity and joy and then 30 seconds that send it into the stratosphere. Funniest person to ever live.
SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma
@SubwayTakesOct 20
All statues should be made out of soap!! @ConanOBrien
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WE’RE THE F’ING GUARDIANS!!! retweeted
Merriam-Webster
@MerriamWebsterOct 20
Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year should be 'dictionary.'
TMZ
@TMZOct 20
Jay-Z Chooses Himself to Be The 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Show Performer: Report tmz.com/2026/10/20/jay-z-pic…

Jay-Z Chooses Himself to Be The 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Show Performer: Report

Jay-Z -- the key decision-maker on who performs each year at the Super Bowl -- has reportedly made his choice for this year's big game, and it's none other than himself!

tmz.com
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James Holzhauer
@James_HolzhauerOct 20
TMZ
@TMZOct 20
Jay-Z Chooses Himself to Be The 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Show Performer: Report tmz.com/2026/10/20/jay-z-pic…

Jay-Z Chooses Himself to Be The 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Show Performer: Report

Jay-Z -- the key decision-maker on who performs each year at the Super Bowl -- has reportedly made his choice for this year's big game, and it's none other than himself!

tmz.com
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Why acton mom look like Buddy Hackett?
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Now we know who will be managing the next All-Star Game.
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Imagine how good of a hitter Jose would be if he had to face us.
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In the “now they tell us” postseason wrap ups we’re gonna learn Bibee hasn’t been with the team for a week.
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WE’RE THE F’ING GUARDIANS!!! retweeted
Jackson Chourio Enthusiast@Matthew_MKEOct 20
Unless you're a TV executive or an employee of MLB you should not give 2 shits what the World Series ratings are going to be
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ThisField_ThisGame@baseball19121Oct 20
This entire nightmare is on Vogt. Worst in game pitching management EVER. #GuardsBall
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9 batter gets on every inning.
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