your boy

The Ass That Launched 1000 Shits

Three Reichs don’t make a wrong

“and it appears that….yes….the orphan mouse is once again being slutted out by The Bustman himself”

One time I saw a child so rotund, I was brought to tears

pussy gets boring

kamala harris stop sending me feet pics challenge [impossible]

I’m fuckin manu ginobli

Alright Billy, this guy’s a walking WAR machine. He’s got an 0.467 OPS, 43 stolen bases, and he hits for power. The best part, he can strike out the side too. His only flaw is in pretty sure he’s in a fuckin’ wheelchair

My drag name is Poly Esther

Imagine seeing Shallow Hal in theaters 2 months after the towers went down

getting served divorce papers while installing our new bidet was not on my 2026 bingo card.

my dick is chinese 很好

when they circumcised me I told the doctor to “keep the change”

CDLs and BBLs

I take shits in toilets you wouldn’t even piss in

my kid’s first words were “should we get a bag”

imagine the epstein files revealing you got framemogged by later years steve hawking

If Andrew Yang just said he was Jeremy Lin he would’ve won

*in an alternate universe* Sorry Dr. Humphrey, but I’m going to need to get a second opinion before agreeing to such a risky surgery. No hard feelings of course, I just need to be sure. I hope you can understand Lil’Jordan