Stand Up Comedian, Writer, Miami Dolphins fan, & Unrecognizable Road Feature
New York, NY
Joined December 2008
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@thefastsaga was originally supposed to come out today. This joke is a tribute to a great franchise and a great performance by @therock #f9 #MoreWolves 🐺
I want an inspirational movie about this.
“Her doctors told her that because of her MS, she’d never be able to physically assault flight attendants ever again… but one woman dared to dream”
Selma Blair was arrested Sunday after an alleged violent incident aboard a Delta flight from Los Angeles to New York:
• Blair allegedly tried to open the plane door mid-flight, punched one flight attendant and bit another
• She was taken into custody after landing and transported to a hospital for evaluation
• Both flight attendants reported injuries, with one receiving hospital treatment
variety.com/2026/film/news/s…
As someone who wants the Dolphins to get the #1 pick this year, I find this disturbing
Twitter ads are like “Dave seems like he eats bbq recklessly enough that he may be entitled to compensation”
AJ Ewing’s first 3 games:
.333 AVG
.538 OBP
.889 SLG
1.427 OPS
2004 Barry Bonds
.362 AVG
.609 OBP
.812 SLG
1.421 OPS
#LGM
This is 100% what the founding fathers had in mind when they drew up the Bill of Rights
🚨 Diddy appeals his conviction and says freak offs were amateur p*rno and are protected by the 1st Amendment.
Read more: tmz.me/sk77UR7
Paying for a Baja Blast with a Mets home run. What a time to be alive. Thanks, Francisco Alvarez! #LGM
FREE BAJA BLAST 😤
Francisco Alvarez gives the people what they want with his 429-foot BLAST!
(MLB x @MountainDew)
If you’re looking for something to do in NYC this weekend, I’m on some shows you should check out:
Opening for Janeane Garofalo and @dopequeenpheebs at the Triad Theater in UWS tonight at 8pm
Performing on the 6pm show at Eastville Comedy Club in Brooklyn tomorrow night
The NFL should force any owner of a team that goes 25 years without a playoff win to sell the team
Scott Hanson confirms NFL RedZone will have commercials in some capacity this season — which is something he has no control over.
The intro will be: “7 hours of RedZone Football start now.”
(via @PatMcAfeeShow)
Love early season overreactions by the NY media. Juan Soto struck out at the end his 1st game with the Mets and the NY Post wrote 3 separate articles about it
RIP
Long live the king 👑
The Kingda Ka roller coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey was brought down in an implosion to make way for a new ride. When it opened in May of 2005, it was the tallest and fastest roller coaster in the world. abcnews.link/1VWl7nf
Devastating news for the Times Square Olive Garden
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