It would seem @asda should employ someone that can spell. Laminated signs in Basildon store or should that be Bazildun staw?

2nd helping this year of the brilliant @mattforde #Chelmsford. WTF a woman thought she would join in and was on phone Googling to find out who @mattforde was. He was so patient with her unlike a Jackie Mason put down who simply said "Shut up Schmuck, they've paid to hear me".

Wonderful evening last night with the brilliant @mattforde looking so well and not needing a walking stick. Truly inspirational the way he has dealt with his recovery as well as taking his impressions and satire to a new level...and Cod and Chips at #Oldhams before the show ❤️

Another @currys customer service low. Took an elderly neighbour to order a new Samsung phone. Assistant said Samsung unreliable and had 1yr warranty. It's 2. Refused to accept £75.00 goodwill voucher told we were buying from C/phone W/house. GUESS WHAT Receipt says CURRYS #FFS

Sad to learn of the passing of Jeanette Charles, famous impersonator of our late Queen. Had the pleasure of working with her many years back. A showbiz icon, who had worked with the greats. Took her work very seriously but still shared many humorous anecdotes with the crew. RIP.

A question for @AmazonUK. Why are so many of your drivers ignorant lying scumbags, who do not know the difference between "Handed to resident" and dumped on the doorstep. 3 times in 5 days, with one package nowhere to be found. Seems this has become the norm for #Amazondelivery

So sad to read of the passing of Denny Laine. A rock legend for sure. The opening bars of Go Now, 55 + years on are still as good as anything since. His work with Paul McCartney and Wings was superb. Think I'll have to blast Band on the Run as a tribute. #Wings #MoodyBlues

The soft close loo seat upstairs stopped soft closing, BANG 💥 and was not repairable. Replacement from #Amazon delivered complete with a USER MANUAL. Now I know how to lift the seat and close the lid in Italian, Spanish, French and German as well as English 😁

Twitter has been broken in the name of progress. #WTF

When Andrew Bailey #plankofengland became Governor of the Bank of England on 16 March 2020, the Bank’s Remuneration Committee set his annual salary at £495,000. So commendable that he has not taken an increase since. 👏👏👏 Sets an example to us all who are not on £495,000 🤔

What a wonderful piece of of high tech equipment spotted in an Essex NHS hospital, catching the leak from the roof. Definitely would have been a hit on #dragonsden 🙄

Thank you to the Automatic Alien from @MSEHospitals sounding like a re-purposed Dalek, that phoned at 23.45 last night to reschedule my wife's appt at Basildon Phlebotomy next month. #FFS

A wonderful evening last night with @mrmichaelball for his book launch of #TheEmpire in conversation with @MissAlexjones on a night off from @OneShow Michael talked frankly about being in emotional dark places, along with hilarious anecdotes worthy of any stand up comedian 👏👏

Well done to @asda I'm sure #Kamakwasi and @trussliz will be delighted with your maths and helping #inflation #costofliving . Wait until the #market reacts to this wonderful #offer Fortunately I and I'm sure @carolvorders learnt different #Maths #FFS

Saddened to learn of the passing of Bill Turnbull. A wonderful journalist and presenter who brightened the lives of viewers like me on #bbcbreakfast RIP