Writer for Family Guy. Stares at sun. Eats most objects.
Los Angeles
Joined August 2009
- Tweets3.8K
- Following652
- Followers44.1K
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Artie Johann retweeted
Every generation of Mets fan gets their playoff game where it proves that God isn’t real. Congratulations to the kids aged 8-14.
Artie Johann retweeted
He seems like a very happy old man looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!
Artie Johann retweeted
Tonight at midnight PST, stream the only animated show about kids going through puberty Valentine’s Day special you need to watch this week. #myfurryvalentine
Artie Johann retweeted
Tonight is the night! I usually don’t do pairs but I made an exception for Stewie. Tune in tonight at 9/8C on @foxtv for our episode on @familyguyfox #familyguy #stewie @johnnygweir
Artie Johann retweeted
Guys, if you're gonna write an article about me being a "failed comedian" maybe don't use a pic of me holding up the Emmy I won for doing comedy? teapaw.org/realDailyWire/status/9…
Patton Oswald Tries Being White Knight Rescuing Gillibrand From Trump. Fail. bit.ly/2AwKnv8
Artie Johann retweeted
As the father of 25 daughters, I'm starting to think women might actually be people
Artie Johann retweeted
So @StephenAtHome, me, Cbs & whole @bigmouth fam have raised 1 MILLION $ for #PuertoRicoRelief w/ #PuberMe campaign! Still much more to do!
Artie Johann retweeted
To those who say actors shouldn't talk politics: u better not tweet the Super Bowl. Only PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES should tweet about sports!!!!
Artie Johann retweeted
Statistically, there's got to be a significant number of people peeing during the national anthem at a football stadium. Like 370+ probably.
Artie Johann retweeted
IM SO EXCITED TO BE MAKING THIS SHOW!! deadline.com/2016/06/netflix…
Artie Johann retweeted
I get paid $750 a year to let 60 Minutes use my stopwatch for the intro. Whenever I ask Morley Safer for a raise he screams at me
Artie Johann retweeted
Well, if Prince, David Bowie, and Doris Roberts proved anything, it's that you can totally die from being too good at sex.
