Desriana 🦉

You probably don’t know me, but I’m behind the success of quite a few people in Esports. I’m the person people call when they’re facing issues that could cost their performance and career. Due to the sensitive topics or situations we’re tackling, most of my work stays hidden. I’ve helped players in situations of despair, without finding support from their team. Coaches and staff struggling to handle a never-ending list of problems and even org owners facing threatening dilemas. Still, I feel I could do more. I’d like to help even more while still maintaining the secrecy my job requires. I’ve decided to share some stories of problems and issues tackled this year while removing any identifying information about the people involved. As of today I’ll start sharing these stories and how we managed to solve these issues. Today I’ll share the story of how I helped a pro player go from almost non-verbal to hyper articulate in one session and 3 weeks of his personal work. Keep in mind this story has been anonymized, any identifying detail has been removed or changed. Our starting point: - player has been asked to work on his communication several times - was considered good at communicating before signing - few weeks in, can no longer do so - feedback from teammates and staff was becoming more and more violent - everyone losing patience - as a result player feels stressed, sleep deprived, everytime he speaks he’s too late - overall feels like shit - team starts getting cold with him, thinking he’s not doing any effort - player hears rumors about getting replaced - contacts me based on recommendation During our session: We acknowledge that communication has never been an issue before joining this team. Sure, it could have been perfected but right now it feels impossible. We look for anything that could have impacted his ability to communicate. We go on, talking about literally anything that can impact his speech : - events in the industry, bad blood with someone else, past issues with new colleagues - personal thoughts, what it means for him to join this team - personal situation, family, love life, friends, support or lack of - his teammates, staff, anybody that might create an unneasy atmosphere in the team - environment, what habits did he change, media/news/political shifts that might affect him, new environment (had to relocate) - feelings and body response, what emotions arise during the day and matches, what’s his physical response What we uncover : At no point did the staff or his teammates ask any of these questions. Everybody started with the assumption that he stopped communicating during matches on purpose. This implies that when the issue was first raised it was not as feedback but as a claim. There was some kind of stress, this opportunity feels bigger than what he’s known before (even though realistically it was the same as other experiences but he felt like he didn’t have the best profil for the team and that he “got lucky”). Thinks he has to focus even more to prove he belongs here. This was something he felt from the very start but it didn’t impact his communication right away, so we concluded that this wasn’t the starting point. Now what we uncovered is something very typical. You always have one source, one starting point. If you fail to identify it quickly, it keeps on growing and in its track it covers himself with OTHER issues. Meaning that at one point it gets covered with all of those different things, an uneductaed eye can no longer see what’s under. You’ll then treat the problem as what you’re able to see and not what it really is. This is what we call treating the symptoms rather than the root cause. If everyone would have made an effort to remove any assumption and actually care to look for the issue WITH the player they would’ve realised what we managed to find: Relocating meant changing environments and the one thing that started all of this was his bed and pillow. It was comfy, but he couldn’t have uninterrupted sleep anymore. The player obviously put that on his stress level. What actually happened is, the bed/pillow wasn’t right for him and turned him into a “mouth breather” It enhanced his sense of stress and anxiety, which was actually him not being able to breathe properly anymore creating more stress on his body. Now you have to imagine during a match: - you’re struggling to breathe - you feel out of place in your team - you try to make up for it by focusing heavily on your gameplay - you now have to choose between breathing or communicating - subconsciously his personal level was more important - he never made an active choice to stop communicating he just litterally couldn’t do it anymore When he tried what the team advised “more effort to communicate” he would force himself to com, preventing him from breathing properly which then impacted his personal performance and he always ended up being late while giving info. It took me an hour and a half to : - listen to him with no assumptions - map out what could impact him in any way - collect datapoints from him - make sure we treat any possible impact fairly - pinpoint the problem - break thoughts of inadequacy - explore stress relief methods to use during matches Obviously there are some things he can only work on alone so I gave him : - pillow references to test - exercises to breathe consciously - nose tape to help (but only in private as some of his teammates made fun of players using them, he did not want to receive those comments) - step by step guide to start communicating again - method to optimize communication skills in the long run In terms of results, he got better sleep, was able to communicate and a better atmosphere within the team the week after our appointment. By the next 2 weeks he could communicate better while still needing breathing exercices between rounds. He managed to stay with his team until the end. This might seem like a small issue, even a fun little story, but it could have cost him his contract and reputation. To top it of, since everyone in the team kept telling him the only way to get better at communicating was just “to speak more”. He felt uncomfortable that people would know about him asking for help. This is why I’ll keep repeating this. Assuming something is impossible to do or that there’s only one way to do it, just because you were not capable to do so, doesn’t make it true. It only proves your own limitations. For anyone reading this, the worst thing you can do for yourself and others is make assumptions. It will always lead you to the wrong path while still thinking you are right. It ultimately prevents progress for anyone.