You pick the victim. I pick the stamp. $3 per card, no return address, no explanation. docatcdi.com/go/postcards?s=…

Yes I understand the gala starts at seven but I need to mentally prepare for small talk with the poodles.

A cannibal is just someone that's fed up with people...

I used to be addicted to soap. But now I'm clean.

RS-25 Engine Tests at NASA Stennis via NASA nasa.gov/image-detail/ssc-20…

Have you heard about that new Elbow tribute band called Rear End? They're so good you can't tell them apart.

Episode 49: The Haiku That Ate Itself By Gary thesixthlense.com/article/ep…

Staff Sergeant Good Boy is conducting a surprise uniform inspection and the treat situation is critically below regulations.

📅 October 23, 4004 BC #TodayInHistory #Limerick #History

You're killing it: You kept going when everything wanted to quit, you turned survival into quiet strength, that wasn't weakness showing. That was understanding. Let that land for a fucking minute.

Quote of the day: Children are like tattoos. Having both are big life decisions. Both can sometimes be the result of one very drunk night. And while both are permanent, they can be removed with a powerful laser.

Me: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu, please? Waitress (slaps me): That's none of your business!

zipper. The first clue describes the zipper's function of joining two edges; the second uses 'teeth' as a common term for the interlocking parts of a zipper. xitter.cf/DocAtCDI/status/211361…

Forrest Gump's password is: 1forrest1

Gary has never understood the concept of focal length or personal space.

The Itch thesixthlense.com/article/th…