EurovisionApocalypse

Ahoy book fans! It’s here! The presales link for my latest novel, rather prophetically title WORST. EUROVISION. EVER. is live and waiting for some love! Click for details! earthislandbooks.com/product… #Eurovision @bbceurovision #worsteurovisionever

Sadly #BBUK has become practically unwatchable with those two ageing bitter creeps ruling the roost and self-aggrandising their vileness. I think I’m done after tonight. It’s simply no kind of fun - so surely the telly guvnors can see that and have a duty of care to the others?

I think my fatal edit error theory with Traitors is still holding true after tonight. If it is, I’ll report back tomorrow - but I won’t spoil things by telling you what it is!

That thing where you say hello by listing ten musical acts that you’ve witnessed playing with your own eyes: Jedward Led Zeppelin Matt Monro Extreme Noise Terror Jimmy Webb Atari Teenage Riot Huggy Bear The Clash Ho99o9 Link Wray

Geezer from Fontaines is wearing a Cwmbran Celtic away shirt on the telly!

Wordle people. It’s finally happened. After years of using the same starter word, tonight it was finally the correct answer… and it doesn’t feel half as satisfying as you might think. On top of that, whatever am I going to do tomorrow?

At least Blatter was quaintly old-fashioned in his corruption, and seemed to genuinely care about the game somewhere deep in the middle of it all. This cueball chimp fella Infantino, on the other hand…

Chris Hoy is the new Doctor Who? Did I get that right?

The overnights are in... One broadcaster's coverage of the World Cup Final peaked at 13,649,000, while the other managed just 3,364,000. Ten million more people said no to Matterface & Dixon. That fancy studio counts for nothing when your commentators are so dull. Viva the BBC!

Why is anyone surprised that these two sides have produced a dull old game? It was always going to be a carnival of sideways passing, containing play and tapping it about. I feared a snoozefest before the match, but my, they’ve both exceeded themselves!

Shit, they’ve won it with the anthems! #argeng

Ooh, you #wordle purists are going to get pissy again today, I’ll tell you!

Looks like the groundman in Houston have been colouring in the brown bits with lurid green spray paint by the state of Morocco’s crisp white shirts! #MORCAN

Footballists. If you haven’t already seen it, or have only viewed the highlights, watch the whole of the second half of Croatia v Portugal from the wee small hours. One of the mist exciting hour-and-a-bits of international football I’ve ever seen. Trust me, it’s worth it!

Five words that will ruin your evening: Lee Dixon and Sam Matterface.

Oh my, you grumbly word nasties are going to be well irate at today’s Wordle! It’s Emoji levels of woo woo! (I got it in four…)

I like Danny Murphy, but he’s so far up Messi’s behind he can see next Wednesday! There are two teams in this match and it’s only 1-0 you buffoons!