Ed Wiley

giving your teenage son the login to your zaxby's app is a path to generational poverty

"What happened to Dan??" Oh he made it to the brisket station, but died of dysentery between the Chili Limón Pork Rinds and the Beaver Nuggets. Never even saw the restroom. RIP. 2/2

You think Buc-ee's is big now? Wait till this AI bubble bursts and they put one in an abandoned datacenter. It'll be like the Oregon Trail just getting to the restroom. 1/2

Traveling on Halloween. Stopped at Chick-Fil-A to grab a bite. I walked by a family and a green dinosaur goes, "What are you dressed as?" Without hesitation I said, "Amish IT Professional", which the parents thought was funny, but really confused the kid. Happy Halloween!

Me, a dad of six, with three teenagers: I feel like a broken record. My kids: You mean like a broken vinyl record? Me: Yes, a warped, scratched, vintage vinyl record, repeating the same audio continuously. My kids: What'd you say?

Every Walmart delivery photo looks like forensic evidence

Saw the Elizabeth Holmes doc. The best part? Someone in the film said, "Stockholm Syndrome," a lady behind us loud-whispered, "Keith!? What's that?", and the near-empty theater got to hear Keith explain Stockholm Syndrome in an extreme southern accent. South GA is great.

Does whoever decides this "fall back" mess accept bribes? What's their Venmo?

Dude was in such a hurry to get home, he didn't let out a single wee. He ran full throttle into the woods. My kids said they liked his style. We named him Hairy Styles. I'll report back if we see him again. 2/end

I live on a farm. This morning, a hairy baby pig ran through our yard, which is odd because we own exactly zero pigs of any kind, much less hairy ones. But the little guy never stopped running. He Forrest Gumped his way through at full hairy baby pig speed. 1/2

to be clear we do not have flying cars, we have flying car