Update: my mother demolished all the chocolates. Ate them all. Shared not a single one. I’m gonna buy a whole cake & not share. That’ll teach her. 😂😂

Lest anyone wonder where I got my personality... my brother sent Mom flowers for Mother’s Day. He also sent her chocolates. I photographed the flowers as she asked. I asked if she wanted me to take a pictures of the chocolates, too. She declined. Because she hid them. From me. 😂

#thatswhyimfat vm.tiktok.com/ZMeVoM6qD/

Dear @Target , in case you wonder why your Plus Size clothing sales don’t do well... 1. You hide them in the back corner of the store without so much as a sign. 2. They’re hideous. Honest to God, WHO is gonna wear this?? Just make regular clothes, only bigger. Not that hard.

Excellent info.

How the hair turned out. I LOVE IT!!!

Yes. Yes, I AM a sexy beast. #gettinghighlights

Why oh WHY do I never stop & get gas in my car while it’s nice out?! Nothing as fun as pumping gas in the pouring rain. #ineverlearn

Had a colonoscopy Monday. Apparently, while still under the effects of the amazing drugs, I was full-on obsessed with the tiny cans of Diet Coke. Apparently, I talked to the them. The Diet Cokes. This is why I do not use mind altering substances.

Hi, my name is Emily & my super power is managing to do something incredibly loud when I’m trying to be quiet.

Congratulations to the amazing @LeonardPittsJr1 !! amp.miamiherald.com/news/nat…

The original, on case you want to reminisce with me. youtu.be/EYQXMODNdf0

One year ago today, I made a video. What a year it’s been. The 1 year anniversary of Touch Your Face!!!!! youtu.be/mifJVhGusyk

Money making idea: Rent-a-kid Tech Help. They show up at your house & you feed them dinner & homemade cookies. You hand them your phone & tell them what you can’t do. They fix it. You pack up the cookies, sneak them some cash & send them home. Because I’d rather die than call IT.

Here is genius personified. Why did we not think of this on our own??? (Affiliate link: click it, buy it, I get $$) amzn.to/2NMNir8

If you do not follow @Zacksploitation on @instagram , you’re 100% missing out. Ack ack!!

Ladies & Gentlemen, the Patron Saint of East Tennessee, if not the entire South.

What flavor is it? “Berry.” How does it taste? “Um... pink.” I do NOT mean that nicely. 🤢