Finance memes and satire. IG: https://xitter.cf/t.co/K8EDWdtVg8

Joined May 2026
Everyone saying excel modeling skills will no longer be valuable but it’s ok because I never had them anyway
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“What are neoclouds” “Does cost of capital include revenue” “Are GPUs waterproof” “Can data centers go bankrupt”
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As someone with a portfolio of energized land assets here is what I am seeing: 1. Neoclouds are disorganized and poorly capitalized. Some are definitely better than others however. 2. Hyperscalers are intractable, bureaucratic organizations that take 3 months to do an NDA and want 18mo escrow periods. We built our portfolio by competing against these terms because of our speed and simplicity. The more future assets orgs like ours win, the bigger the problem for the hyperscalers downstream (see 3). 3. There are delays in the existing pipeline that will catch people off guard in 2027. Hyperacalers will (obviously) react by focusing on their own internal compute needs over any third party. If the third party is a model company, they will tell them to go through their model router where they will also take a non-trivial vig. Them telling Ant they have no compute for them (rumored in Ant’s S-1) if true is a huge tell that this is already happening. All of this is to say that it does look like there will be a lot of partially stranded compute and compute sitting in inventory in 2027 than is currently forecasted. This is bought and paid for but effectively underearning (below total cost of capital) or collecting dust. We see this as true for everyone - model companies, hyperscalers, neoclouds except ONE (you can guess which one). This dislocation will benefit two kinds of orgs: the non-bureaucratic big scalers who can build industrial scale quickly and the nimble, well capitalized players feeding them. 2027 will be a turbulent year because it will clear out a bunch of wrong/bad bets. It will also be a consolidation year for a few.
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Neoclouds
BREAKING: Elon Musk says SpaceX raised $40B of investment-grade debt for GPUs, supported by Starlink and launch revenue, while predicting collapse and bankruptcy of 200+ neoclouds
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Junior analysts when they’re asked to write an investment memo without using AI
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Times have changed
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Dressing up as a Jefferies credit analyst for Halloween
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The business before and after the PE firm executes its 100-day plan
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Can we request money from people who post bad tweets?
JUST IN: Elon Musk reveals 𝕏 will soon let users send $1 payments directly through the Like button, powered by 𝕏 Money.
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When the bartender hits me with a “there he is”
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JetBlue's unsecured creditors finding out they'll be boarding in Group 9
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Me laughing at my MD’s lame ass joke a week before bonuses are paid out
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Happy to announce I’ll be taking my talents to the bar to crush beers with my absolute boys all day
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Remember when they paid that dude $10k for posting Steve Jobs’ daughter
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When our analyst says management’s EBITDA adjustments actually make a lot of sense
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Magic Johnson’s credit team realizing the borrower’s org chart also includes their boss
So let me get this straight. Walters' own insurance companies stopped lending to his other businesses once they got subpoenaed back in Feb In just weeks, insurers owned by Amistad, a holdco where Magic is a board member, lent ~$2.3bn to Walter companies/intermediaries (BBG) Amistad isn’t technically a Walter affiliate. But they share his office address, his firm (Guggenheim) manages its insurers’ money, and his brother-in-law runs one of them. Kind of related, right?
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How it feels receiving vague answers to my diligence questions
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Me asking management to clarify why they’ve gone through four external auditors in the last six years
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“You walk around asking people if they want beer or popcorn and you thought you were getting a Knicks championship ring?”
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