Guy Who Won't Die.

Hello, my name is Wade. And I'm a alcoholic. (Hi Wade!) Wait, that's not right. [Taps chin.] Oh, I know! With roleplayin' #Deadpool, comes great respons—ah, that's not right either. I could have sworn #Marvel gave me a script for this? (Yo Reader? Just RT Pool's pinned. . .)

I wanna make a movie about a dog who joins a hockey team.

I fell tryna catch a spider.

Gonna fill my pockets with rocks and jump into a mall fountain.

Someone just had kittens in my mouth. 🫥

Found a pouch of Big League Chew earlier, now my jaw's locking up.

I need this shirt.

PSA:

Donald Trump's hair is unusual.

Started using these pills called 'Stiff for Hours' from the gas station.

America's wrong about drugs and comedy.

Hookers don't climb.

They say if you put your finger up a rat's butt, that pacifies it.

Found some leather pants but can't put them on.

I heard Thing's costume in the new F4 movie is just a fat guys old clothes.

This tweet was written by AI while Deadpool was on strike.

Happy happy joy joy!

Got $100 credit from Uber Eats 'cause a delivery guy grabbed my junk.

Bouta use a shotgun to get free tacos.