Female bodybuilder | God first | The best is yet to come
Joined May 2023
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The hard truth nobody tells you about bodybuilding…🚨
For years, I thought being tough meant pushing harder.
If I was exhausted, I pushed.
If I was hungry, I pushed.
If my body hurt, I pushed.
If I was sick, I pushed.
If my body was screaming at me to stop, I convinced myself I just needed more discipline.
But there’s another part of my story that I can’t leave out.
I became addicted to steroids.
I ran cycle after cycle. Some were more extreme than others. I stacked things together without truly understanding—or caring about—the consequences. I was young, obsessed, chasing a physique and a feeling that I couldn’t get enough of.
The truth is, the extremes became a high of their own.
I loved being muscular.
I loved being lean.
I loved the vascularity.
I loved looking strong.
I loved seeing what the human body could become.
I know that isn’t everyone’s idea of beauty.
But it was mine. It still is.
I’m not going to pretend I suddenly hate bodybuilding because I’ve been hurt by it. I don’t.
I’ll always be Flex.
I’ll always love muscular women. I’ll always appreciate the veins, the muscle, the strength, the absolute insanity of pushing the human body beyond what most people ever thought possible.
That part of me isn’t something I can just switch off.
But I have to be honest about what that obsession has cost me.
Years of hard dieting.
Years of pushing my body to extremes.
Years of cycles.
Years of ignoring warning signs because the goal mattered more to me than the consequences.
And somehow, through all of it, I’m still here.
I’ve been incredibly lucky that my heart hasn’t stopped.
But I also have to be honest enough to say something terrifying:
If I keep pushing my body the way I have been, there may come a point where luck runs out.
This isn’t about vanity anymore.
It’s about life or death.
And that’s a fucking hard thing to admit when the thing you’re being asked to walk away from is also the thing that has given you purpose for so much of your life.
Because I don’t know who I am without it.
I don’t know who I am off cycle.
I don’t know who I am when I’m not training.
I don’t know who I am when I’m not counting food, chasing a pump, looking in the mirror, trying to get leaner, trying to get bigger, trying to become something more.
I honestly feel completely lost right now.
And that’s probably the hardest truth I’ve ever had to say out loud.
I’m trying to find myself underneath all of this.
And it has been fucking hard.
Because the person I’m trying to find isn’t someone I recognize yet.
I know I’ll always miss the high.
I’ll always miss the feeling of being completely obsessed.
I’ll always want that next level.
I’ll always look at a muscular woman and think, fuck, that’s beautiful.
That probably isn’t ever going away.
But maybe recovery isn’t about becoming someone who doesn’t love bodybuilding.
Maybe it’s about learning how to love something without letting it kill you.
Maybe I can still be Flex without destroying myself to prove it.
Maybe I can still love muscle without sacrificing my health for it.
Maybe I can learn to eat without fear.
Rest without guilt.
Train because I enjoy it instead of because I’m punishing myself.
And eventually look in the mirror and see a person, not just a physique.
I’ve spent years building my body.
Now I have to figure out how to build me.
And honestly, I have no fucking idea how to do that yet.
But I’m trying.
Because I don’t want my story to end with a heart that finally couldn’t take one more cycle, one more extreme diet, one more push.
I want there to be a version of Flex who gets to grow old.
Maybe that’s the strongest version of me I’ve never met yet. ♥️
Flex retweeted
As Alberta hospitals continue to respond to the devastating fire that took place at CFB Wainwright last week, Ontario’s heroic health-care workers are stepping up to help.
Ontario is deploying 28 health-care staff, including surgeons and nurses with special expertise in burn care, to support the recovery efforts. We’re also providing additional equipment to support their work as they care for those who were injured in last week’s fire.
In times of crisis, Canadians pull together and have each others’ backs. That’s exactly what we’re doing.
Progress pic, as promised 👀
Not perfect. Not finished.
But I'm proud of her.
The mirror doesn't show the early mornings, the meal preps, or the prayers between sets. 🙏
There was a time when getting through the day felt like the hardest workout of all.
When my body felt fragile, when mirrors were something I avoided, and when “strong” felt like a word that belonged to other people.
I didn’t wake up one day looking like this. It took early mornings, late nights, tears in the gym, saying no when it was easier to say yes, and showing up even when I didn’t believe in myself yet. It took rebuilding not just muscle, but the relationship I had with my own body.
Now I stand a little taller. Not because the work is finished, because it never really is, but because I proved to myself that I can do hard things.
That consistency beats motivation.
That the girl who once felt weak is still in here, and she’s the one who got me here.
And through it all, there’s been him.
My boyfriend. A quadriplegic who has shown me more strength than any weight I’ve ever lifted.
He doesn’t care about PRs or stage lights. He shows up every day with a quiet resilience that humbles me.
Some days he’s the reason I keep going.
Other days he’s the one who reminds me to rest, to breathe, to remember that strength isn’t only about what your body can do—it’s about how you love, how you adapt, and how you choose each other when life gets hard.
If you’re in the “this” right now. keep going.
Your “that” is waiting.
And it might look different than you imagined, but it will be yours.
Proud of every version of me that got me to this one.
Grateful for the person who walks (and rolls) beside me. ❤️🦼
Something you don’t see everyday.
Something you never want to see again. 🥺
Lest we forget. 🇨🇦
The latest from CFB Wainwright!! 🚨
As the fallen soldiers descend Westwards down highway 14 towards Edmonton, this is their escort.
Also, the intersections are lined with people who are paying their final respects.
• 4 units ahead
• 2 buses
• 3 units behind
• 2 military choppers
Remember the fallen soldiers and do not forget about the ones still fighting for their lives 🙏
• Sgt. Morgan Wong.
• Pvt. Shaun Farrell.
• Pvt. Aidan Goulding.
• Pvt. Hayden Lykkemark.
19 Remain In Critical Care.
8 Were Intubated.
Casualties Sent As Far As Regina, SK 573 Km (356 miles) Away.
30 Emergency Services Were Called In:
• 20 Ambulances.
• 1 Medical Bus.
• 9 Airbourne Units.
Flares Were Constantly Going Up Throughout The Night.
Medical Paratroopers + Search & Rescue Were Landing In The School Football Field And Bringing Medical Supplies.
S.T.A.R.S Air Ambulance + Others Were Used To Transport The Wounded.
The Helicopters Didn't Stop Until 4 a.m Sunday Morning.
I know because I witnessed this first hand.
So many lives shattered forever...
Something you don’t see everyday.
Something you never want to see again. 🥺🇨🇦
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Happy 11th Birthday to my sweet niece! 🎂✨
This picture says everything.
A girl, her horse, a golden sunset, and that quiet confidence that only comes from knowing exactly who you are.
Watching you grow into someone so kind, brave, and full of light has been one of the best parts of my life.
May 11 bring you new trails to ride, big dreams to chase, and all the love and laughter you deserve.
You’re something special, and we’re all so proud of you.
Love you so much. 🐴❤️
GM.
Grateful for a body that keeps getting stronger. 💪
A God who never lets go. 🙏
And the @doginaldogs fam who show up every single time. 🐶♥️
I worked maintenance in the oil and gas industry for 10+ years.
I worked on all of these gas wells that likely ignited the explosion.
They are all underground wells. We had to take special training to be able to perform any type of working out in the training areas.
I mowed the entire training center in the summer.
I plowed it in the winter.
Praise God nothing ever happened while I was working out there.
So many prayers for all of the Canadian Armes Forces, emergency responders, the families, and the entire community that this has impacted.
A catastrophic blast at Canadian Forces Base Wainwright, Alberta has reportedly resulted in multiple fatalities and injuries during a live fire military training operation.
According to local sources on base, Canadian Forces personnel had been conducting exercises over several days when an artillery projectile reportedly struck an active natural gas well on the bombing range, triggering a massive detonation.
The blast is said to have levelled nearby tactical training buildings, with subsequent fires reaching munitions storage and setting off secondary detonations across the range.
The geography and infrastructure;
➟ CFB Wainwright has a documented history of natural gas production, with approximately 180 wells reported on the military property in 2014.
➟ Military range maps identify munitions storage, pipelines and designated live fire danger areas near Peterson Pond.
➟ NASA FIRMS satellite imagery recorded multiple thermal hotspots between Peterson Pond and Jamieson Lake on October 17.
Local accounts also describe hospitals activating Code Orange protocols, mobilizing stretchers and preparing for a significant influx of casualties.
The reported gas well strike, secondary detonations and hospital emergency measures remain unconfirmed as authorities investigate the incident.
Should these reports be confirmed, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone involved and affected.
I can’t help the tears that won’t stop. 🥺
I wish it was just a horrible nightmare but unfortunately it’s not.
My hearts broken for the families, the emergency responders, and all of the Canadian armed forces. 💔
We aren’t even at war. It feels like just as many fatalities and injuries as if we were.
This is when I question…“Where is God in all of this?
I got busted…
But in my defence.
I was getting chicken soup to feel better. 🥣
Wish I woulda went in the line I coulda snagged a free meal. ♥️
You’re a kind soul my love 🥰
My @doginaldogs was given to me to lure me in…
I love floppy ears so it was easy… 🐶
I already have my future one picked.
