jennifer

get out of a ticket by telling the officer you were busy breastfeeding yourself

pregnant

happy mother's day, mom. still not sorry i drowned your dildo in a jar of mayonnaise.

so proud of my phone for auto correcting "smash" to "smash mouth"

Waking Up With Four Whiteheads: A Biography

snood so hard mother fuckers wanna fine me wut's 50 puzzle levels to a mother fucker, can you please remind me?

selfie thursday 😇

please give me a job, @Crocs

flashback to the mice that took over our house

waiting for my stimulus check so i can finally book my clit augmentation

does it make me gay if i drink my own breast milk?

hasta la vista, shitheads

~god bless my husband for eating out my atrocious front butt~

pineapple on my pizza because i'm masochistic

this is the most impressive nightclub i've ever been in. wait, i mean depressive.

remember this dollar store shower curtain i bought that represents i'm the best wife ever

thank god for aromatherapy candles. today i think i'll burn Lavender Lunacy

stuffing my kids easter eggs with dog shit

*rips away the cobwebs covering my pussy* IM BACK, FUCKERS

its come to this : drinking my own piss

BEST coffee cup ever😋thank you @rachaniqua 💞 instagram.com/p/BdGExa1Hzu2/