
Artwork Surgeon to the music industry. Married to the warbling @MrsDreamyAzz. Boardgame maker & friend to the stars. All opinions are my own. All jokes are not.
West London
Joined September 2009
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And if anyone is thinking of sponsoring me for this year's #WalkTogether2023, here's the link. fundraise.bowelcanceruk.org.…
Hey, @Meta - who can I speak to regarding ad preferences? Because whoever's in charge has either had a blow to the head or severely needs one. I've opted out of ads regarding parenting, and I'm being hit with ads for schools, classes, kids clothing, kids toys... Are you mental?
Next company I plan to stop giving money to is @OVOEnergy. After a 90 minute live chat with the rude, unhelpful Namhla yesterday, I've gone to pick up the gas credit my wife negotiated & the guy at the designated shop doesn't know how to do it, or indeed, what I'm talking about.
Asking me to spend £150 I haven't got on something I probably don't need isn't quite the "birthday treat" you think it is, @EE . "Here's your present to show I care, now cough up."
Hooray!
The lovely people at Fabulous Films have given me one of these to give away.
You will get it a couple of weeks before it's released.
All you have to do is retweet this tweet & I will select a winner at random.
Good Luck!!
fabulousfilms.com/products/m…
*Acton Town platform taped off & crammed full of people as a result* / *district line train announced for wrong destination at Victoria*, causing people to board, thinking it's going to Richmond*
@TfL "for the safety of others passengers, don't smoke." Yeah, We're the problem.
Meticulously check @VirginAtlantic guidelines several times over regarding taking my laptop to the US. Get to check in: "Do you have a laptop?" ; "Yes. In my Hold suitcase, but it's within your guidelines." ; "Ah, no. You need to unpack it and put it in your carry on." Ffs... 🙄
At London Heathrow, through security and Vegas-bound for the third time. I have a raft of #TESD shirts packed, and the first airport bar is boding well for this UK ant... @sundayjeff @SModfan
The excitement of flying out to Vegas again on Tuesday already amplified up to eleven by knowing my #TESD order from @sundayjeff is already on its way to the hotel & should be there for my arrival. And if that #SpinalTap reference lands with him, I'll be doubly impressed. #UKAnt
I've just watched the latest @TellEmSteveDave episode of #SundayGrind, and I agree - @BQQuinn, you need to get on board for a #BasketCase episode (or three). Don't make me get my buddies #frankhennenlotter and @HorrorCultFilms to enforce it...
Currently on my first-ever experience of a @c2c_Rail train. And after my journey back tomorrow, hopefully my last! Broken toilets and no bins. Joyous that I've spent hard-earned cash for this.
I'm on my return journey. The toilet is functioning, but clearly hasn't been attended to since 1380. Absolutely disgusting condition. Not worth the money in either direction, @c2c_Rail.
Comedian of the year so far goes to @TfL and the double act of the SL8 driver who used every stop to "regulate the service" + the H & C line that has left me with a 15 minute wait, making a 35 minute journey take over an hour. Well worth the £200 a month. Absolute joke!
Disappointed that @McDonaldsUK have got a "Friends" themed meal, but none of the other fast-food joints have jumped on the (better) 90s sitcom bandwagon. Surely @KFC_UKI are a shoo-in for a #LarrySanders special, whilst @BurgerKingUK give us a #seinfeld Costanza Whopper?
Highlight of the day was finally meeting @CCfunkandsoul at #LFCC and talking a bit of #Ghostwatch as he signed my custom-made "property trading game"
It's the time of year where the never-popular @thameswater pull numbers out of a hat & announce my annual bill has gone up again! Imagine being forced to pay money to a company no matter how awful they are. Anything else, I can switch supplier. Not with these £3bn bailout frauds.
Absolute mess on the 70 and 440 bus routes this morning. Well done, @TfL, another winner. Over an hour for a twenty minute journey. Well worth the small fortune I pay each month.
Coming home to open post and discovering that I'll now be sending a very stern email to @BarclaysUKHelp tomorrow, and giving them an even sterner phone call on Friday (and if you're wondering, they kept their record win of my Worst Company To Be A Customer Of for the 15th year).
Waiting for the Comic Relief special @BBC mash-up, The Gladi-Traitors . A bunch of muscle-bound athletes in a castle trying to murder Bradley Walsh, whilst Claudia Winkleman navigates 22 hapless contenders (some secretly related or something) around an obstacle course. TV gold!
Nationalise @thameswater! ⏰ Thames Water’s future is hanging in the balance. Billions in debt could be written off for private owners and it could remain in private hands unless we act fast. 53,000+ of us are calling for nationalisation. Add your name: 38d.gs/tw_tw











