Dr. Becky Kennedy’s groundbreaking approach to raising kids. Turning deep thoughts into actionable strategies you can use right away.
New York, NY
Joined August 2008
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Anxiety = uncertainty + the underestimation of our ability to cope
@claudeai I’m accepting new clients
3 go-to lines when I hold a boundary my kid doesn’t like:
1) “It’s okay to be mad.”
2) “Some decisions are yours, some are ours, some are mine. This one’s mine.”
3) “I love you. And my answer is still no.”
Your kid's behavior today is not indicative of the adult they're going to become.
It doesn't mean they’ll meltdown when someone cuts them in line at the grocery store.
It doesn't mean they’ll yell at their boss.
Kids don't have the skills to regulate their emotions … yet.
Today’s goal: 10 minutes of uninterrupted, 1:1 time with each kid.
No phones, no siblings, no distractions.
Our attention is our most valuable asset - and the one our kids want the most.
A short burst of fully-present 1:1 time can lead to a whole day of better behavior.
Just a reminder: Holidays don't have to be perfect to be good.
For example...
Whining doesn't erase gratitude.
Bickering doesn't cancel out love.
Meltdowns don't negate special moments.
You've got this.
This time of year, it’s easy to get caught up in details - whether you remembered every gift, whether your kid has good manners, whether the holiday meal is special enough.
Remember:
You have a good kid. You’re a good parent. No single day defines your family.
You’ve got this.
Thrilled to see Good Inside named top AI App for parents in 2024!
We're revolutionizing parenting support by combining cutting-edge AI with human insights. Parents shape the future daily; they deserve the best tools.
Proud to lead this tech-driven transformation in parenting.
Wondering how to actually use AI in your day to day?
Our team @a16z asked some of AI's biggest names to nominate their favorite products of 2024 - this is a great starting point 👀
Here are their picks! ⬇️
For general AI assistants:
- Perplexity (@perplexity_ai) - AI search engine
- Anthropic (@anthropicAI) - general assistant, Claude
- ChatGPT (@chatgptapp) - for Advanced Voice Mode!
For help getting work done:
- Granola (@granola) - AI notetaker
- Wispr Flow (@WisprAI) - voice dictation
- Gamma (@gammaapp) - AI decks, docs, websites
- Adobe (@Adobe) - Acrobat AI PDF summarizer
- Cubby (@CubbyApp) - collaborative workspace
- Every Inc. (@every)- Spiral writing assistant + Cora email product
- Lindy (@getlindy) - AI agents to automate workflows
To build an audience:
- Delphi (@withdelphi) - AI clones
- HeyGen (@HeyGen_Official) - studio quality avatars
- Argil (@argildotai) - social media avatars
- Overlap (@JoinOverlap) - video editor
- Persona - agent builder for creators
- OpusClip (@OpusClip) - video editor
- Captions (@getcaptionsapp) - avatar generator + video editor
To build a product:
- Cursor (@cursor_ai) - AI code editor
- Replit (@Replit)- automated web developer
- Anychat - multi-model developer platform
- Codeium (@codeiumdev) - Windsurf agentic IDE
To get creative:
- ElevenLabs (@elevenlabs) - text to speech
- Playground (@playgroundAI) - graphics generator
- Suno (@sunomusic), Udio (@udiomusic) - music generators
- Midjourney (@midjourney), Ideogram (@ideogram_ai) - image generators
- Runway (@runwayml), Kling (@Kling_ai), Viggle (@ViggleAI) - video generators
- Krea (@krea_ai) - creative canvas
- Photoroom (@photoroom_app) - image editor
To learn or grow:
- Rosebud (@joinrosebud) - AI journal
- Good Inside (@GoodInside) - parenting app
- Ada Health (@adahealth) - health management
- Ash - AI counselor
- NotebookLM (@notebooklm) - learn anything w/ AI
- Particle (@particle_news) - personalized news
To have fun:
- Remix AI (@getremixai)- AI social platform
- Meta Imagine (@AIatMeta) - AI-first social tools
- Grok (@grok) - chatbot from xAI
- Curio (@CurioBeta) - AI toys
Repeat after me, “My job is not to make my kid happy.”
We don’t want to optimize our kids for short-term comfort. We want to optimize for long-term resilience.
That means teaching our kids how to sit with uncomfortable feelings, not offering our kids a quick exit ramp.
Screen time is top of mind for parents these days.
And it all comes back to this: as parents, our number one job is to keep our kids safe - not happy.
Setting boundaries and tolerating our kids’ distress (and anger at us!) is a critical skill in Sturdy Parenting.
Watch out for the Fast-Forward Error.
It looks like this: your kid hits a friend and you fast-forward to, “My kid is a sociopath, my kid will be in jail one day.”
Come back to today. You have a good kid. And you’re going to figure it out.
Confidence isn’t feeling like you’re the best.
Confidence is feeling like it’s OK to be you when you’re not the best.
Confidence isn’t feeling good about yourself. Confidence is self-trust.
When a kid is upset, we build confidence by saying “I believe you”
and we actually lower confidence by saying “Come on, it’s not such a big deal.”
Parenting Myth: Yelling messes kids up.
Parenting Truth: It’s yelling + *not repairing* that’s terrifying and overwhelming to kids.
Solution: Repair.
Action: Learn how to repair and why it matters.
Click here: ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_…
A 15-second intervention can change the trajectory of a child’s life.
My TED talk dropped today - and I can’t wait for you to see it.
ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_…
Things kids need to hear:
- “I’m so glad you’re my kid.”
- “You don’t need to be perfect to be loved.”
- “I believe you.”
- “We can get through this together.”
- “Even when you struggle in the outside, you remain good inside.”
… What did you need to hear when you were a kid?
Here’s a paradox: when a kid is anxious, telling them everything will be ok will only increase anxiety - while telling them it’s ok to feel anxious will help them believe that everything will be ok.
Boundaries are what we tell our kid we will do - and they require a kid to do nothing.
“Stop jumping on the couch” and “We don’t hit” aren’t boundaries - they’re requests.
If we want kids to tolerate frustration, we have to tolerate their frustration.
If we want kids to tolerate disappointment, we have to tolerate their disappointment.
Big idea: Kids can’t learn to tolerate the feelings we don’t tolerate in them.
Dr Becky Good Inside retweeted
we often find ourselves remarkably unprepared for our most challenging and important job: parenting.
dr. becky and @GoodInside team have changed the way I parent, and they’re doing a special event for dads w/ @aplusk - fellow dads, seriously worth a look: rb.gy/j4xp1
