Hackman's Genes

Most people don't know this, but the cure to all mental disorders is actually a very large person who can visibly beat the shit out of you with little effort. Works almost 100% of the time.

There's something so alpha about the fact that America has been running the world since 1945 but most Americans know nothing about the world, America, or themselves.

Madonna might actually be the worst musical artist of all time.

Every child born in the US after 1960 has grown up in the exhaust fumes of a culture that doesn't exist anymore. All of us grew up seeing endless parodies of 1950's black & white "how to" videos. But none of us have ever actually seen the sincere instructional videos those parodies are based on.

Sometimes I am reminded that nothing is set in stone. Who I am & how I am perceived is not a finished song. The knot that was tied at my birth is still unraveling. Today, I could commit a heinous act of evil that would redirect every second I lived previously into the inevitable monster I have become. Conversely, I could act with great heroism & charity that would make my sainthood predestined. Even a finished song is never truly finished. Every new artist from every proceeding generation will make additions to its melody with their own creations until the original song's runtime reaches infinity. Free will is so obtrusively present in every facet our daily lives to deny its existence can only be seen as dubious. Not only are we capable of writing reality, we are obligated by God to do so. Truly, nothing is more terrifying.

There's a theory that our history is fake because how could we go millions of years as cavemen & then modernize so quickly? the more I learn about computers it actually makes sense why it took us so long to figure this out.

Is it bad that I liked Bojack Horseman?

I'm about to get a job as a 911 operator because every 911 call I hear the operator is the biggest fucking retard on the planet. White, black, male, female, doesn't matter. It's like every precinct's goal is to make the Naked Gun into real life at any cost necessary.

Imagine being a full blooded native American & taking a swig of hard liquor. Probably feels like taking acid & ecstasy at the same time.

The only life worth fighting for on this earth is the priviledge of sitting around & doing nothing all day.

Holy shit. Wow. I... I'm not even mad. I'm genuinely impressed.

I TAKE IT ALL BACK I TAKE IT ALL BACK. MATTHEW PERRY I KNEEL. REST IN PEACE YOU BEAUTIFUL BEAST OF A MAN

It's kind of insane this shot of Picard might have the most longevity of any meme in history. People have been using this still since before meme was even a word. The first time I saw this photo is was in 240p.

There's something heartwarming knowing those long deleted burner accounts I had when I was 8 are still out there on a server in Utah or smth

Posts art specifically made to push buttons & be satanic "Ya, I just wanted to show my art and everyone called it satanic."

I thought the 47 age was a joke but then I remembered I first discovered Redlettermedia like 15 years ago.

The main problem is people no longer benefit your life. Your average person is so neurotic & isolated due to a million factors, it can actually seriously hurt you if you know too many people. Each new person is a new responsibility you have to maneuver & a potential powder keg if they turn out crazy, insensitive, or sensitive. I imagine this is how women have felt for most of human history.

As a child, this ep gave me the courage to explore my sexuality & identity. It made me realize I might like boys & that it's possible to be born in the wrong body. Thankfully I hit puberty & found out none of those feelings were real I just wanted to fuck the rabbit.

lmao nigga they're actually gonna fucking kill us

When I was in high school my friends and I used to hang out at the movie theater across the street while other kids were taking molly and raping each other (alleged) at house parties.